Saturday, August 27, 2011
And the YouTube commenters are on fire!
"This is the best intro song for everything......funeral?...damn right...baptism? hell yeah! circumcision? you know it!"
I once spent four hours on a motorboat outside of Neyland Stadium with two middle-aged lesbians. That is all.
I was going to put together a manifesto on why Tennessee sucks, but I hate so many things about Tennessee that my post exceeded the space that I'm allotted on the Beast. So just know that I hate Tennessee very, very much.
As for the trip, I suggest that you get to at least half-marathon level shape before you head to Knoxville. The ramp to the upper deck at Neyland Stadium is the longest and steepest ramp in the SEC. It is a great physical achievement to reach the summit. The ramp has been called "The Stairway to Heaven" because several fat ass fans each year actually meet their maker when their hearts give out on the perilous trek. Speaking of fat, Fat Phil was a real a turd. I'm glad I don't have to see his fat face anymore.
I remember thinking at one point in my life how cool you would be if you could casually mention to everyone within earshot that you'd scaled K-2 or some other mountain that screams "that's right, I am a badass." Then I hiked up that damn ramp to the top of Neyland Stadium. My dreams of being a mountain climber died that day.
Much like watching a game in which Ed Orgeron is making important decisions, I never want to be a part of that again. However, it's worth the trip to Neyland to take in what I think is the closest thing America has to the Roman Coliseum. Well, minus the missing sections, history of brutal murder and sacrifice, and giant prisons beneath the playing surface. But, one thing the Romans never had: Trooper Taylor furiously waving a towel and jump-chest bumping people.
Posted by Gray at 5:47 PM