Thursday, December 14, 2006

Weekly Dose of Andy Kennedy

Coach Kennedy continues to come strong....

On Dwayne Curtis' double-double in the first half of Tuesday's game against Louisiana-Monroe...

"I tell you what’s amazing to me....I bet he leads the nation in rebounds in which he never leaves the floor. He is the best rebounder in the country with both feet on the floor.”

On Bam Doyne learning to be the "go-to" guy on offense....

"If he’s out there, I guarantee you he’s going to get shots at the basket. He has accepted that part of being the leading scorer in that you get to take a lot of bad shots. He has relished that.”

Finally, Matt Damon comes uber-strong with his impression of Matthew McConaughey on Letterman the other night...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Patrick Willis Wins The Butkus Award...

Coach Orgeron, how about a nap?

...and Ed Orgeron looks like he's been recruiting on no sleep for the past five days. Either that or he's been on a bender for the past two days in Orlando. Well, as long as he's recruiting and not headbutting people, I guess it's okay.

But in all seriousness, congratulations to Patrick Willis. He was one of about two bright spots (and unfortunately both of them will be leaving) on this year's Ole Miss team as he had a tremendous season, despite a below average defensive line playing in front of him. If he had a decent defensive line, he would have made 6,000 tackles this year. He's one of a handful of Ole Miss players in my lifetime that it was worth going to the game just to see him play. I don't know if I've ever seen a linebacker in college that covered more ground than he did. I say that because this season his ability to drop back into coverage and excel at it is something you rarely see in college.

Considering his story of being a foster kid, going through adoption, being a lightly recruited player out of high school, wasting away on the bench for two years thanks to an incompetent coaching staff, enduring three years of miserable football, and losing his brother before this season started, I'd say he's done pretty well for himself. Come draft day, he'll be doing really well for himself. So long Patrick Willis, we shall miss ye.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Pat White Could Be A Panther

Here's West Virginia quarterback Pat White doing his best impression of the "Panther growl/roar" after a Pittsburgh first down in last Thursday night's blowout win by the Mountaineers. You hear the stadium "Panther growl" at the very beginning of the clip, then you'll hear Pat White. They're basically the same noise, which shows you how talented he is. I almost started choking from laughter when I saw this happen live last Thursday.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Most Underappreciated SNL Skit

Tim Meadows and Tracy Morgan star in this skit as Russell and Tate, a stop-at-nothing law firm determined to git you yo' money no matter what the reason. Unfortunately, no video of this actually exists on the internet. Or at least I couldn't find it, but I didn't exactly look that hard. The transcript of the skit is below, but here's the link to it because the page can take you to a website that has hundreds of SNL transcripts.

Russell & Tate Law Firm

Russell.....Tim Meadows

Tate.....Tracy Morgan

Testimonial #1.....Jim Breuer

Husband.....Will Ferrell

Wife.....Ana Gasteyer

Testimonial #2.....Molly Shannon

Testimonial #3.....Mark McKinney

Announcer: If you've been injured on the job, or you are the victim of an accident, you may be entitled to a sizable cash settlement. No one knows this better than Russell and Tate.

Testimonial #1: Russell & Tate got me $27,000. And a new lease on life.

Russell: We're gonna git yo' money.

Tate: Damn straight!

Russell: You can bet your sweet ass we'll git it!

Tate: No bull.

[ cut to Husband & Wife in their kitchen ]

Husband: We were very concerned after the accident.

Wife: We didn't know who to turn to, so we called Russell & Tate.

Husband: We got a lot of money. $150,000.

[ cut back to Russell & Tate ]

Tate: It's like this: if somebody has your money, we're gonna git it.

Russell: They can't have your money!

Tate: That's right. Unless they want a piece of Russell & Tate!

Russell: Oh, yeah!

[ Russell & Tate laugh, and clap their fists together ]

Testimonial #2: I called Russell & Tate, and told them I wanted money.

[ cut back to Russell & Tate ]

Russell: Your money is not their money!

Tate: No, it ain't! You gotta get your money! They ain't supposed to have it! So, we gonna git it, or I don't know what.

Russell: Well, I do! [ they laugh ] Yeah, we gonna git it! You gotta understand - Tate, here, is one very mean brother with a degree from Harvard Law, and he will go crazy academic on your ass if you try to mess with somebody's money!

Tate: Let me rap to them for a minute, Russell. Listen, y'all - you ain't even seen the inside of Hell until Russell comes busting down on you with his big-ass experience as a former editor of the American Law Review!

[ cut to Testimonial #3 ]

Testimonial #3: When I first saw Russell & Tate, I knew that these guys would get me money. I mean, Russell Johnson was my law professor at Harvard, and Tate Witherspoon has argued hundreds of successful Supreme Court cases. Bottom line? They get you your money.

[ cut back to Russell & Tate ]

Tate: $200.. $300.. $2,000, it don't matter, we gonna git it!

Russell: That's right! $8,000.. $17,000.. $400,000, I don't care - we gonna git it all! I wasn't an expert witness in the Microsoft Anti-Trust Case, and a president of the New York Bar for six years so I could sit up on my ass and not get your money!

Tate: That's right, Russell! And I didn't bust my hump doing a federal judgeship, and all those appointments at the Congressional Committee so some bitch could steal your knot!

Russell: No diggity!

Tate: You know what I'm saying!

Russell: Oh, yeah, we gonna git your money!

Tate: Straight up!

Russell: Damn!

Tate: Damn!

Announcer: Russell & Tate. Attorneys At Law.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Here's to You Brock Berlin

Quite simply, this is the hardest hit I've ever seen in a football game. Miami wide receiver Roscoe Parrish got absolutely obliterated in the Miami/Florida State game a couple of years ago. He got hit so hard, he ended up being taken to the hospital for INTERNAL BLEEDING. That doesn't happen in football games, more like car wrecks. Maybe he should have stayed strong on his Ole Miss commitment and he would have avoided this. Then again, Bill Flowers did get his spleen lacerated by a Vanderbilt defensive back. I digress....

Friday, July 07, 2006

The 4-2-5 In All Its Glory

In case you were not there in person to experience the worst performance by a passing defense in the history of Division I football, here's your chance to see it. These are the highlights from the Ole Miss/Texas Tech game set to Metallica's Wherever I May Roam. For the record, I almost puked when I watched this.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I Wish You Weren't a Liar

Brian Walker needs to actually get hit by a pitch before thinking his arm is broken.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Tom Cruise Has Two Left Feet

Tom Cruise takes time out from pimping his new movie to absolutely horrify the good folks at BET with his attempt at dancing.

Friday, April 21, 2006

The Greatest Confrontation Ever

Iceman: You two really are cowboys

Maverick: What's your problem, Kazanski?

Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Maverick: That's right! I am dangerous.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day

I love all of you.