Wednesday, August 24, 2011

10 Days

No need to point out the obviousness of that awesomeness, let's get right to it, #10 Kentucky:

Do you enjoy not knowing if there's a college football game going on five blocks away from where you are standing?  Do you enjoy seeing your first Kentucky fan of the day about two hours before the game starts?  Once you get to the game, do you enjoy listening to every Jock Jams CD ever made?  You don't?  Oh.  Well.  Then you would probably not like going to Kentucky, especially if your team is coached in any capacity by the Shrimp Boat Captain and being quarterbacked by Brent Schaeffer.

However, there are positives to a Kentucky trip.  Pazzo's, a pizza place fairly close to the stadium, serves tasty food and drink and is virtually empty until about two hours before the game.  Well, not totally empty, it will also contain a smattering of your school's fans who wander in, unsure if the place is open, but are reassured by the bartender who is stunned that people are seven hours early for a football game.  It also serves as a great house of consolation after the game when you get your ass kicked by Kentucky.  That's right, ass kicked by Kentucky.  A rare occurrence out in the wild, but it happens.  I was there.

One of the other positives that come from a trip to Lexington is the opportunity to tour one or more of the many distilleries that are accessible off of I-65.  Accessible does only mean that there is a road that goes to your distillery, and does not guarantee the road will be remotely straight, spacious, and not filled with 25-degree banked turns or thousands of hills.  But, if you do make it, even with a little car sickness in hand, I can vouch for the beauty of the grounds and the outstanding tour of the Maker's Mark distillery.  They'll even let you dip your purchased bottle in the wax and slam it down on the counter to give it that running wax look.

And on the way, you get to see Abraham Lincoln's birthplace.  Thanks to years of family vacations of a Griswold nature, I became one of the few people alive outside of the Commonwealth of Kentucky to see that cabin TWICE.

Peter Venkman
The closest I’ve come to watching any sporting event in Lexington was a basketball game in Louisville’s KFC Yum! Center.  Here, fans can treat themselves to a wide range of menu items from Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and the Colonel.  And you’re gonna want to wash that down with a mixed drink from the full bar overlooking the Ohio River.  It’d be like shooting fish in a barrel, save for the fact that every woman I’ve ever seen in Louisville could pass for an extra on AMC’s Walking Dead.

(Ed:  Also, don't take a cab with a certain Ole Miss coach while in Louisville)

Cameron Poe
A look inside the mind of Cameron Poe as I was supposed to be writing a post on my trip to Kentucky:

8:30 AM
What to say about Kentucky?

Didn't they have a fat quarterback?  I'll write about him because fat jokes are easy.

I've got nothing on the fat quarterback.

New idea!  I'll write about my trip to the Maker's Mark plant.  That post will write itself.

Shit! Gray is writing about the Maker's Mark plant.  That's ok, I'll write about this great pizza place in Lexington called Pazzo's.

Double shit!  Gray is also writing about Pazzo's.  Damn you, Gray!

12:15 PM
What would happen if there was an earthquake where I live? Would I poop myself?

Dear Hummingbird, break out the fine china, chill the lemonade, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree cause this boy is comin' home to his ladies, comin' home forever.

It's only been 3 days, but blogging sucks.

Drafts resignation letter.

Decides not to send resignation letter.

I'll tell Gray that my computer crashed and that I lost the best post I've ever written.

In lieu of post, I'll ask Gray to post a video of the Bluegrass Miracle as that is the most memorable thing to ever happen in Lexington.

Ed:  To soothe my anger ever so slightly, here's this video:

Of course, LSU would go on to lose AGAIN to Arkansas and somehow play in the national championship game.  The lesson as always, BURN IN A FIRE, LSU.

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