Thursday, August 25, 2011

Nine Days

Read through most YouTube comments and you'll grow 45% dumber and at least 25% more racist. But, of the millions of comments, every so often, one soul out there in cyberspace speaks to the heart of a video, and gives the world a description that could only be written by a very select group of scribes. We should consider ourselves lucky that SmileAtGunpoint took the time to wax poetic about this video when he said:

"I dont give a shit what everyone else thinks - Europe put on a good show."

Indeed, sir.

#9 Arkansas

Peter Venkman
About the only thing I remember from a fall 2002 trip to Fayetteville was strolling through Donald W. Reynolds Stadium on Friday afternoon and watching two to three minutes of The Lord of The Rings – Fellowship of The Ring on the 30 by 107 ft video display (the largest in the world at that time). That evening our party decided to go ahead and ride the snake by subjecting ourselves to the “Hour of Power”: one shot of beer every minute for exactly one hour. When I came to, I was sitting in my 8 AM Irish Lit class with a hand-made placard in front of me that read, “NOT PREPARED.” Also, TLOTR blows regardless of screen size.

(Ed: At least the Irish Lit portion of this story is made up. Everyone knows the Irish can't read or write.)

Cameron Poe
The Fayetteville trip exceeded all of my expectations. The Ozarks are beautiful, the campus is nice, and the football stadium is top notch. The stadium experience was the biggest surprise of the trip. Razorback Stadium has wide concourses and ample restrooms, which is something that cannot be said of most SEC venues. The scoreboard is really, really big. It is so big that you have to force yourself to watch the game instead of the scoreboard. I know that other places have added huge scoreboards in recent years, but Arkansas gets credit for being the leader of the monster scoreboard craze.

An added bonus at one of the games I attended was the appearance of a streaker during the middle of the 3rd quarter. A fan, wearing nothing but a hog snout around his crotch, led overweight and out of shape stadium police on a chase across the field. That almost made up for the fact that my team sucked on that afternoon. The only downside to Fayetteville - it is a long ass way from anywhere. Fayetteville is 6.5 hours from the nearest SEC school. So be prepared for a car trip misery on the way home, especially if your team loses.

(Ed: I was there and it was most certainly the highlight of the game.)

I have three memories of my trip to Fayetteville and two of them caused me to pray for immediate murder (you guess which two):

1. Spending an unholy amount of time on I-40 was eventually, eventually rewarded with the stunning beauty of the Ozarks in late fall.

2. Arkansas scored a touchdown, kicked off, and Ronald McClendon (yet another highly recruited JUCO prospect who did nothing at Ole Miss, but would have won the Heisman at another school) touched the ball, it went into the end zone, he lazily chased after it, and a hustling Arkansas special team player fell on it before McClendon did. Result: second touchdown in two seconds by Arkansas.

3. After watching two and a half quarters of an ass-beating, I spent the next seven hours of my life trapped in a Volkswagen with four other people.

If you guessed 1 and 3, you win. I-40's uncle? Satan himself.

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