Tuesday, August 23, 2011

11 Days

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you put on a clinic of stage moves for lead singers.  Notice at the 50-second mark, the guitar and bass players are involved in some sort of synchronized swaying, which is completely straight out of a box and doesn't bring the energy needed for a proper Europe show.  The lead singer blows that boredom to pieces with his freewheeling style, which mainly centers around his liberal use of the microphone and microphone stand waving.  It's like he treats it like a paddle while standing in a canoe.  Europe shows would have been awesome.  Well, until this song was over, then I'd probably leave after two or three more songs because no one, not even the band, knows to two or three more Europe songs.

#11 in the countdown:  Mississippi State

Cameron Poe
After yesterday's take on the Vandy trip, everyone probably thinks I am a negative nelly.  That would be an accurate assumption about my outlook on most areas of life, but I have generally positive things to say about trips to the other SEC schools.  In fact, I would recommend a trip to all SEC schools not named Vandy.

That first paragraph was probably the nicest thing anyone has written about a trip to Starkville.  I know it was an indirect compliment, but lumping Starkville in with the other SEC destinations means State is making progress.

Instead of talking about my 2 trips to Starkville, I would like to take time to remember one of my favorite MSU bulldogs.  Outside of Coach O, no coach's stubbornness and stupidity has entertained me more than a certain Churchill scholar/head football coach by the name of Sylvester Croom.  If you don't think fall weekends were better with the "Crooked Hat" roaming the sidelines, then you are BLIND!

Peter Venkman
Watched Ole Miss lose a couple basketball games there, however, my favorite memory of Stark-Vegas would have to be the time I caught a sold-out Widespread Panic show at “The Hump.”  During intermission, I stumbled upon my next-door neighbor from Oxford’s luxurious Sterling University Terrace Apartments.

She was probably the least attractive member of the varsity cheerleading squad, and I reasoned that asking her out on a date would reveal my sensitive side, thus leading to subsequent dates with more attractive members of the squad.  Long story short, she stood me up a week later, which allowed me to leave a guilt-free upper-decker in her toilet during their next late-nite.

I hate going to Starkville for several reasons, with the main one being it usually involves watching at least one awful team drag the other mediocre team down to its level.  2003 is the only memory I have of a far superior team having its way with the underdog, and only a driving rain kept Ole Miss from beating State 56-0 in what would be Jackie Sherril's last game (31-0 was the final; that just reminded me of the weather, which is always, ALWAYS horrible for the Egg Bowl; it's either cold and cloudy or sunny and cold with a 20 mph wind straight out of the north, no exceptions).

So going into this game, you know you're going to be miserable at the sight of what is an alleged game of football.  If you win, you can't really enjoy it because you were so tense the entire time, both from the closeness of the game and general disgust with what you are watching, and if you lose, GOD HELP YOU.  Within seven seconds of the final second ticking off the clock, an asshole will be ringing a cowbell in your direction, occasionally in your face, yelling something about "Old Piss" and "sucking sons a bitches."

Why thank you for that point of order, Mr. Mossy Oak.  I wasn't aware my team sucked until just now, right when you informed me.  No, somehow I failed to pick up on that over the past three and a half hours as I watched them stumble around like a fratty red pant-wearer in the Grove after seven hours with some Old Charter.  Your reinforcement gave me something I sorely lacked.  IF ONLY YOU HAD BEEN THERE IN SEPTEMBER.  Could have saved myself three months worth of grief.  Thank you, kind soul.

I should note that I once ate at the newly renovated/rebuilt Taco Bell in Starkville right after Hurricane Katrina (I was there doing laundry at a friend's house before a wedding weekend in West Point, as there was no power in Jackson) and it was DELICIOUS.

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