Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Oxford Police Department Now in Charge of the Ole Miss Depth Chart

Despite his hopes that the Ole Miss quarterback competition could last until three minutes before kickoff of the BYU game, where it would eventually be decided by a best of nine, three-way, one potato-two potato showdown, Houston Nutt's decision got a little easier thanks to Randall Mackey's decision to irritate a member of OPD enough that he needed to be arrested.  To be fair, it doesn't take much to achieve arrestable irritation in the eyes of most of those officers, but it also means that Mackey cranked up the dumbassery and either didn't shut up or do what he was told.

When a fight breaks out on the Square or in a bar in Oxford, OPD swarms in like the Gestapo when they got the news that house over there is full of Polish Jews.  There's lots of excited yelling and screaming at people to get back, followed by the grabbing/tackling/arresting of those involved in the fight.  Now, the good part is when friends of the arrested start trying to defend their moron friend by verbally berating the police.  This tactic ALWAYS leads to someone else getting arrested. 

"He didn't do anything!  He didn't do anything!  Why are you doing this?!?!?  Leave him alone!"

"Sir, please step back."

"But why are you doing this to him?"

"Sir, I'm not going to ask you again.  Step back."

"This is bullshit!  And so are you!"

"Take him down."

(dogpile of officers on idiot friend)

The lesson here, friends, is when a police officer's adrenaline is spiking near 800% above normal levels, do what he says, keep your mouth shut, and give him plenty of room to take care of the people he's most angry with at the moment.  Don't make yourself a target of that anger and adrenaline.  As with all things, it generally boils down to not being a moron.

Obviously, I have no idea what happened with Mackey other than he was arrested and I'm sure he'll be punished with a not fun physical challenge of sorts.  But, while I was strong supporter of Mackey being named the starter, as I believe in putting your most explosive, highest ceiling level guy out there when no one is really standing out among the choices, this narrows Houston Nutt's options, which is a FANTASTIC thing.  Nutt only needs to see A or B as his listed choices.  Throw in a C, and somehow he'll create options C through WW and inexplicably start small fires throughout the football complex, while drawing plays that call for Enrique Davis to play quarterback.

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