Last May, when the return of Stephen Garcia from his fifth suspension was imminent, we sought the reactions of the coaches of the teams South Carolina would play in 2011. Given Garcia's final departure from the South Carolina team, it's only fitting we ask the coaches whose teams will now play a Stephen Garcia-less Gamecock team for their thoughs, as well as get some reactions from around the SEC.
"I COACHED TWO FIRST-ROUND DRAFT PICKS, ONE OF WHICH WAS THE TIM TEBOW. WHAT ABOUT YOURS, STEVE?"
"Please send help. Team now led by Matt Simms. Will not last long. Goodwill supply slowly dwindling."
"It's a shame about that positive alcohol and marijuana test. Funny how just about anyone can get into those labs for the right price."
"I'M PRETTY SURE I HATED HIM ANYWAY. I TEND TO HATE EVERYTHING."
"Seriously, guys, I can't stop staring at solar eclipses."
"If you pump your arms really high while running, it feels like you're running at an incredible rate of speed. Also, DEATH VALLEY, BABY!!! WWWWHEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!"
"Oh, hello there. What's that? Stephen Garcia? No, no. I never think of his 9 for 10, 3 TD first half against us last year. I've completely forgotten it. Yes, sir. Completely forgotten it."
/stares into his own soul
/secures commitments from 17 five-star recruits
"Stephen, buddy, you've got my number. We'll figure out the eligibility stuff. You know, waivers and things. We'll figure it out. Just give me a call. Here to help."
"Certainly, there is a piece that yearns for things to be as a whole part. We all learn parts that can be insufficiently sufficient and need greater correction as we move on. These are lessons we teach our young men and I hope they see to it that they, in turn, find places in their lives for what greatness teaches and commands of those who want to be a part of what is very special to those who care about us as individuals."
"Did you know we beat Ole Miss 30-7 this year? I know! You should look it up."
"3-0 against him. Deal with it."
"Now, Aaron, don't you go out and get caught up in that kind of lifestyle. We love you just the way you are. And for the love of all things good and decent, do NOT get a scooter."