From The Weekend That Was

GAME RECAPS

Kentucky 38, Jacksonville State 14
As we steadily steam toward the Anti-Game of the Century on November 5th, also known as Kentucky versus Ole Miss, if you're into making comparisons with no real statistical value or factual merit, we know that the 2011 Kentucky Wildcats are better than the 2010 Ole Miss Rebels. That also has no bearing on the game in a few weeks, but I thought I'd mention it because I have nothing else to say here. Though, I will note that Morgan Newton finally made it through a game without throwing an interception.

Arkansas 29, Ole Miss 24
If you wanted to see the most David Lee/Houston Nutt play ever, you got it on Saturday. Second and 10 from their own one yard line, Lee and Nutt dialed up a stretch running play with Jeff Scott. Predictably, Scott was tackled three yards deep in the end zone, turning a one possession game into a two possession game, and the ball went back to Arkansas late in the third quarter. Given the sad state of the Ole Miss offense, which took advantage of a horribly confused Arkansas defense in the first half (seriously, those jet sweeps and swing passes haven't worked ALL YEAR), two possessions weren't going to be overcome in a single quarter and that was the game.

The only difference between this year's Ole Miss team and last year's is that the 2011 version plays hard and appears to care what happens. Unfortunately, they are just not very good and poorly coached, which makes it hard to rant like a lunatic at their shortcomings. Of course, that makes the coaches an easy target for lunatic-speak, but I'm tired of repeating myself and pointing out the obvious that everything needs to burned down and we should start anew in 2012. And if for some reason that doesn't happen, SWEET FANCY MOSES are you going to see a crazy person around here.

Oh, one final note, Ole Miss has now been outscored in the second half of its last two SEC games 57-7. FEEL THE COMPETITIVENESS!

Additional final note, in his post-game press conference, Houston Nutt took issue with a score prediction made by Neal McCready of one of the Ole Miss pay sites. McCready, who writes a weekly prediction column, wrote that Ole Miss would lose to Arkansas 49-10. Within one minute of starting his remarks on the game, a game in which he blew a 17-point lead, a game that marked his 10th straight SEC loss, and a game that saw Ole Miss get outscored 29-7 in the second half, Nutt went after McCready, saying:

"They played real hard. They played harder than that 49-10, right, Neal? One on my players told me. I don't read your stuff; they tell me what you say. One of my freshmen told me that Neal McCready wrote that we were going to get beat 49-10. It wasn't no 49-10."

Aside from Nutt speaking like a dumbass, it's always a good sign when your head coach takes time to address a local reporter's insignificant weekly picks column after getting his ass handed to him for the 10th straight conference game, right? Surely this attacking someone who made, based on previous performances, a pretty solid prediction, is normal practice, right? It would be really embarrassing if a head coach took out his frustrations on a member of the group that has nothing to do with losing 10 straight conference games.

This season, and the Houston Nutt era, can't end soon enough.

LSU 45, Auburn 10
If you spent last year despising every moment of Auburn's season after the Cam Newton news exploded, which is everyone who is not an Auburn fan, the third quarter of this game was probably the happiest moment of 2011 for you. I know it was for me. The weight of LSU's power, speed, and thirst for blood finally came reigning down on Auburn in spectacular fashion, resulting in 21 points in less than three minutes and burying Auburn alive.

Had I not been so lazy and locked into the couch, I might have gotten up and fixed myself a brown water drink to slowly sip while I savored the moment. However, to show that I'm not a total heartless bastard, I did express concern for Auburn's kick returners, as during this scoring run by LSU, I was quite certain one of them was going to get killed. Let this be a lesson to Gene Chizik that he should have cited a "God-thing" as the only reason one of his players was not decapitated.

Vanderbilt 44, Army 21
James Franklin, I like your style of passing just because we haven't done it in a while. You were in the midst of running for 344 yards against Army, yet still chose to throw 27 times with a quarterback who completed 10 passes, and is now 14 of his last 46 pass attempts (23.3%).

Alabama 37, Tennessee 6
For one half, Tennessee put on display the only formula that gives a team a chance to beat Alabama. Load up against the run and force A.J. McCarron make throws. In the first half, he did not, but in the second half he did, which led to the Tennessee defense crumbling in the third quarter.

Missing from Tennessee's version of this formula was a little help from the offense, which offered no relief for its defense in the second half. Interestingly enough, the Vols were able to run the ball right at Alabama in the first half, but at halftime, Nick Saban said NO MORE OF THAT, and that was essentially the end of any positives for the Tennessee offense. No doubt LSU was busy taking some notes during this game while they picked the remains of Auburn out of their teeth.


DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches

Zac Stacy, Vanderbilt
21 carries, 198 yards, 3 TDs

First time ever to feature a Vanderbilt player here? I think it might be. If only blogs had existed in 1999 when Greg Zolman threw for 344 yards, two touchdowns, and ran for two more in Vandy's 37-34 overtime win over Ole Miss.


ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play

Matt Simms, Tennessee
8-17, 58 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT

I hate to keep picking on him, but Morgan Newton played a I-AA team which limited his ability to suck.


JOHNNY VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him

James Franklin
A fairly dominant win over Army after a tough loss to Georgia earns Franklin honors here this week. Vandy may always be Vandy, but under Franklin, it looks like they'll have feistiness four or five games a year (excluding Ole Miss; that is a given).


2011 Jevan Snead Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Quarterbacking Failure Leaderboard
Awarded to the SEC quarterback who throws the most interceptions during the regular season

1. Stephen Garcia 9
2. Aaron Murray 8
3. Morgan Newton 7
4. Zack Stoudt 6
4. Barrett Trotter 6
6. Chris Relf 5
6. Larry Smith 5
6. Jordan Rodgers 5
9. Tyler Wilson 3
9. Tyler Russell 3
9. John Brantley 3
9. Matt Simms 3
9. A.J. McCarron 3
9. Randall Mackey 3
15. Tyler Bray 2


DOUBLE YOUR PAYCHECK RESULTS
Week: 3-2
Season: 33-25-1 (.568)


MAN AGAINST BEAST

Peter Venkman
Week: 5-0
Season: 43-17 (.717)


Mr. Blue
Week: 1-4
Season: 33-27 (.550)


POE VERSUS LOW

Cameron Poe
Week: 5-0
Season: 51-9 (.850)


Chris Low
Week: 5-0
Season: 50-10 (.833)


KING OF THE RING
Gray: 41-7
Venkman: 36-12
Poe: 37-11


WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
Georgia at Florida
Remember when Georgia would regularly lose this game when it meant something on a national scale? Will Mark Richt find a way to lose when the right to be savagely beaten by Alabama or LSU is on the line? Will Todd Grantham do yet another meathead thing? Can Will Muschamp pop an eyeball out of its socket in a rage fit?

Ole Miss at Auburn
Will Houston Nutt attack the sports columnist for the Oxford High School student newspaper for writing "Ole Miss will probably lose this game"? Will Clint Moseley throw his hat into the ring for SEC player of the week honors after facing an Ole Miss defense? Will Gene Chizik cite "God's goodness" for allowing his team to run for 400 yards against the 115th-ranked run defense?