As noted by my careful following and tallying of the interceptions thrown by SEC quarterbacks, I get some sort of weird delight out of truly horrible performances by quarterbacks. I don't know when this started, but my best guess is sometime during the 2009 season, as I watched Jevan Snead's impressive march to 20 interceptions in a single year of college football. That, and maybe there's something that happens to a person when they watch the quarterbacks for their team throw 107 combined interceptions from 2004-2010 (15.28 per season; HOW AM I STILL ALIVE?). The pain and rage created by such awful levels of play is all I know, so I get joy out of seeing other teams tasting what I have known for so long.
Luckily for twisted people like myself, this year's stable of SEC quarterbacks has not disappointed in terms of wretched play. Only four teams have manged to avoid a tire fire situation at quarterback (Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, and LSU), and of those four, two are breaking in new starters. Everyone else? It's all burning and going to burn for quite some time.
Let's see just how bad it's been as we take a look at the other eight teams and their quarterback stats in SEC games only. One point of order, Tennessee and Florida were kind of caught between groups, while Tyler Bray has been okay in SEC games, he hasn't been great, and ditto John Brantley. But, now that Bray is out until November-ish and Brantley, who knows, Matt Simms, Jeff Driskel, and Jacoby Brissett land them in the tire fire group.
36-73 (49.3%), 372 yards, 4 TD, 4 INT
22-49 (44.9%), 210 yards, 1 TD, 6 INT
15-32 (46.9%), 201 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT
Ole Miss total:
37-81 (45.7%), 411 yards, 2 TD, 8 INT
SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP THAT IS HORRIBLE
50-81 (61.7%), 448 yards, 1 TD, 4 INT
Very high completion percentage for him, but that comes out to 5.5 yards per pass, which is not good at all. Randall Mackey, for example, is at 6.28 yards per pass.
15-37 (40.5%), 210 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT
Mississippi State total:
65-118 (55%), 658 yards, 2 TD, 7 INT
33-53 (62.2%), 518 yards, 4 TD, 1 INT
11-27 (40.7%), 89 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT
13-24 (54.2%), 139 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT
57-104 (54.8%), 746 yards, 5 TD, 5 INT
44-81 (54.3%), 539 yards, 3 TD, 2 INT
10-26 (38.4%), 167 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT
54-107 (50.4%), 706 yards, 3 TD, 4 INT
26-74 (35.1%), 198 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT
2.67 yards per pass has to be some kind of record for quarterbacking failure.
34-52 (65.4%), 216 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
Like Relf, his yards per pass is not good, coming in at 4.15.
20-45 (44.4%), 203 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
54-97 (55.7%), 419 yards, 0 TD, 6 INT
36-78 (46.1%), 530 yards, 3 TD, 8 INT
47-69 (68.1%), 474 yards, 5 TD, 2 INT
South Carolina total:
83-147 (56.4%), 1,004 yards, 8 TD, 10 INT
That's 9 out of 15 quarterbacks with below a 50% completion rate, and only 3 out of 15 who have more touchdowns than interceptions. Auburn and Florida stand as the only two teams with as many touchdown passes as interceptions (I did not count Kiehl Frazier's or Clint Mosley's stats, as Frazier has only been used as a situational quarterback and Mosley has played a half of one game, but Frazier's picks would take Auburn out of this category).
And all of that above, dear readers, explains why SEC games not involving Alabama, Arkansas, LSU, or Georgia feel like rock fights. Though, the ones with Georgia, despite Aaron Murray's success, still feel like rock fights.