While he was enjoying a late night walk and snack of Tiger Stadium grass, the sports gods decided to have a word with Les Miles.
(Stolen from here)
Sports Gods: LES? LES? CAN YOU HEAR US?
Coach Miles: Whoa! That was a close one. Almost got me with that bolt. Tough luck for that groundskeeper though. I was literally standing in that same spot 10 seconds ago.
Sports Gods: WHAT? GROUNDSKEEPER? OH. I SEE. YEAH, THAT'S OUR BAD. PROBABLY SHOULD PAY A LITTLE CLOSER ATTENTION TO DETAILS.
Coach Miles: So what's up, guys?
Sports Gods: WELL, LES, WE WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU BACK JORDAN JEFFERSON. WE HAD SOME FUN WITH YOUR FANS, BUT MOSTLY EVERYONE ELSE'S WHO FORGOT THAT YOU HAVE AN NFL DEFENSE AND ASSUMED YOU'D LOSE TO OREGON AND WEST VIRGINIA.
Coach Miles: Wow! Thanks, guys. This is news of a tremendously outstanding uplifting variety of note.
Sports Gods: NO PROBLEM. HOWEVER, THERE IS ONE CONDITION TO HIS RETURN TO THE TEAM.
Coach Miles: What's that?
Sports Gods: YOU CANNOT PLAY HIM UNLESS JARRETT LEE IS INJURED OR CATCHES HIS INTERCEPTIONS FOR TOUCHDOWNS DISEASE AGAIN.
Coach Miles: Might I ask why?
Sports Gods: PEOPLE ARE GETTING SUSPICIOUS AND WE DON'T WANT TO TARNISH OUR GOOD NAME.
Coach Miles: I see. That is certainly an understandable concern that would be an issue if not addressed with zeal and speed necessary to prevent its concernability.
Sports Gods: UH, RIGHT. SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ANYWAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE TERMS OF HIS RETURN?
Coach Miles: Sure do.
Sports Gods: ARE YOUR FINGERS CROSSED?
Coach Miles: Uh, no. Not at all. (holds up hands) Nothing crossed here. (crosses toes)
Sports Gods: VERY WELL THEN. WE'D LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT MORE, BUT WE'VE GOTTA RUN. IT'S BEEN 48 HOURS AND NOTHING EMBARRASSING HAS HAPPENED TO OLE MISS. GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING IN MIND THAT WILL ATTRACT NATIONAL ATTENTION TO A PROBLEM ONLY NOTICED BY OLE MISS FANS RIGHT NOW.
Coach Miles: Okay, sure thing. Good luck with that.
Sports Gods: SEE YOU NOVEMBER 5TH IN TUSCALOOSA.
Coach Miles: I thought you said you'd be here for the Florida game.
Sports Gods: OH, RIGHT. OCTOBER 8TH. OLE MISS IS OFF THAT WEEK, SO THAT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM. UNTIL THEN, COACH.
Coach Miles: Later, fellas.