LSU Diagnosed With Pro Combat

Tuesday, Nike released the latest line of its Pro Combat uniforms, with LSU, Stanford, Ohio State, and Michigan fans getting to see what their teams will look like in 30 years when football literally becomes a game of life and death (as of right now, according to the adage, it's more important than that).  A few weeks ago we took a look at Georgia's version of future football, which, in typical Georgia gimmick uniform fashion, led to a crushing defeat.  So now, we examine LSU's version to be worn against Alabama on November 5th.




FEEL THE COMBAT. SO MUCH COMBAT.

Of the four schools, LSU's is probably the most conservative and not a total departure from anything they've done before. Observe the white helmets from a few years back:


But I don't think anyone anticipated Pro Combatness of layer one of the armor:

OH THE SKINTIGHTNESS AND TIGER PRINT.

However, my favorite part, the mesmerizing stare of the Tiger eye gloves:

Something so beautiful, yet so haunting. I can't look away...


What do you want with me, Tiger eyes? Why won't you stop staring at me?


I surrender to your gaze. What will you have me do, master?


RIGHT AWAY, COACH MILES. A PLATE OF FRESH GRASS AND A GLASS OF CHAOS WITH A SPLASH OF ANARCHY.