Let's get right to it. Here's to hoping I only have to watch 11 more games in which Houston Nutt and David Lee "cut it loose" on offense.
Mississippi State 59, Memphis 14
How good is Memphis? They're now 14-point dogs at ARKANSAS STATE. But, give credit to State for obliterating a horrible, horrible team. If you are at all a decent team, you destroy the dumpy teams you play. One thing about State that should be noted and further monitored, is the left tackle, James Carmon, who is a career defensive lineman. He had a shaky start with a pair of false start penalties, and was easily beaten on some speed rushes. I'm very interested to see how he holds up against better defenders and more complicated defenses.
Kentucky 14, Western Kentucky 3
When Les Miles watched this game, he cried hot tears of joy. The Wildcats were outgained 234-190 and won. Morgan Newton was 7 of 18 for 97 yards and three picks and Kentucky won. VANDERBILT, THE OFFENSIVE INEFFICIENCY CHALLENGE HAS BEEN ISSUED.
Auburn 42, Utah State 38
Hey there, Ted Roof. So you still suck, huh? And there's no Cam Newton to bail you out? THAT STINKS. The Auburn defense gave up 448 yards to a an offense led by a true freshman, and, if not for the most perfect onsides kick ever (plus Utah State didn't do the thing were your first wave of return guys go and knock the shit out of all of Auburn's charging guys), would have cost Auburn a game they deserved to lose. If Auburn can't figure out any kind of run defense (DON'T WORRY, TED ROOF IS ON TOP OF IT), Mississippi State will run for 700 yards.
Alabama 48, Kent State 7
Praise Jesus the college football regular season is so important and protected by the BCS that we get treated to great matchups like this.
BYU 14, Ole Miss 13
Did someone inform Houston Nutt and David Lee that teams are allowed to plan for the first game of a season ALL OFFSEASON if they so choose? If they were not told this, they can now use that helpful information at their next jobs. Six months of planning (going back to spring practice) produced the Les Miles offense, which is fine if you have an LSU defense. While our defense played well, and infinitely better than last year, they are not of that caliber.
So it seems to me that a little more aggression should be called for to offset a defense that can't completely dominate opponents, and an opponent who openly said they're going to pack it in and make Ole Miss throw. And, if you're going to hide behind the idea of starting quarterback Barry Brunetti can't throw well down the field, then how about using his God-given athletic ability that you praised over and over again during the preseason. Maybe, let's say, and I'm just shooting from the hip here, but some read-option, roll outs, you know, things that take advantage of apparently the only quality that won him the starting job after Randall Mackey's arrest.
If you're not going to use him properly, why in the hell is he even back there? That decision, along with whatever the hell they were doing in the fourth quarter (3rd and 10: conservative draw; 3rd and 27: AIR IT OUT) never gave Ole Miss a chance. BYU was doing everything in their power to let Ole Miss escape with a win and, once again in my lifetime, Ole Miss refused to take advantage of generosity, even repaying that generosity with ALL the generosity ever.
/sees December is three months away
Tennessee 42, Montana 16
Sneaky cover of the week? TOTAL SUCCESS.
Arkansas 51, Missouri State 7
Half a hundred prediction: CORRECT.
Florida 41, Florida Atlantic 3
Kudos to the Owls for averaging exactly one yard per carry. 30 carries, 30 yards rushing.
South Carolina 56, East Carolina 37
Guess what, Steve Spurrier? You already knew this, yet insisted that he get to start, but Connor Shaw stinks. Just give us Garcia the rest of the way so we can see Alshon at his greatest. This is our last year of him and we need this, dammit.
Vanderbilt 45, Elon 14
In the next five Vandy games (UConn, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia), they will not score 45 total points.
Boise State 35, Georgia 21
As a reminder, Mark Richt was feeling the heat, or what constitutes heat at Georgia, to change the way the Bulldogs go about their business after last season's failure. What did he do to attempt to remedy the heat? He reassigned the strength coach and promoted the assistant strength coach to head strength coach, then mentioned how tough the training was this offseason and that Georgia would be a more physical team.
Then his team showcases that new strength by getting pushed around by Boise State, a team less talented than Georgia (based on recruiting rankings), while still maintaining all the offensive issues from last year, including, but not limited to, lack of protection and no running game. If not for Brandon Boykin's 80-yard TD run (and he never touched the ball again after that), Georgia would have ended the game with 57 yards on 30 carries. Enjoy your time in a studio somewhere next season, Mark Richt.
LSU 40, Oregon 27
Checklist for a Les Miles victory:
-Did your quarterback bring nothing to the table?
-Did your opponent give you free touchdowns?
-Were you outgained?
-Did your defense play very well?
-Did your coach run to the wrong sideline coming out of the tunnel?
If you answered yes to all of the above questions, Les Miles achieved victory in the manner in which he mental set out his goals to do so in a timely and organized fashion, which was the goal when focus was placed on tasks set before a talented team playing a talented team with great accomplishment and skill.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches
Vick Ballard, Mississippi State
10 carries, 166 yards, 3 TDs
After receiving this prestigious honor, Vick turned and handed the trophy to the Memphis defense, saying "Thanks, guys."
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play
No one qualified down to the standards of this award.
JOHNNY VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him
Armed with Jarrett Lee and a speedy defense, Miles dominated Oregon and really took the fun out of Saturday night, as both LSU and Georgia's games were decided in the third quarter. Point of interest: That's now three teams (LSU, Auburn, and Boise State) who have managed to control the Ducks when given extended time to prepare for them.
2011 Jevan Snead Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Quarterbacking Failure Leaderboard
Awarded to the SEC quarterback who throws the most interceptions during the regular season
1. Morgan Newton 3
2. A.J. McCarron 2
2. Phillip Sims 2
2. John Brantley 2
5. Aaron Murray 1
5. Jeff Driskel 1
DOUBLE YOUR PAYCHECK RESULTS
Right in the meaty part of the curve.
MAN AGAINST BEAST
POE VERSUS LOW
KING OF THE RING LEADERBOARD
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
Mississippi State at Auburn
If State wants to push for another eight or nine wins, they need this one. If Ted Roof wants to have a job next year, he needs to find a way to not give up half of a thousand yards rushing.
South Carolina at Georgia
Could this be the first Georgia/South Carolina battle in which scoring plays a repeated role? NO IT WILL NOT. It's in the contract.