Thursday, September 29, 2011

Les Miles Plans to Get in the Way of Les Miles

On Wednesday, former LSU starting quarterback Jordan Jefferson was reinstated to the football team after his felony bar parking lot fightin' and kickin' charges were dropped to a misdemeanor. Without Jefferson, a two-year starter, Les Miles has turned LSU into the number one team in the country (without any other team losing) led by the quarterback Jefferson replaced in 2008.

They've looked so dominant through the first four weeks that the only two things that appear to have the power to derail them from a trip to the national championship game are Alabama and this man:

As is usually the case with LSU, Les Miles gives them the best chance to win with his insanity-laced decisions, non-existent clock management that somehow always works out for their success, and his ability to keep the talent pool at LSU deeper than 99% of the rest of country, but, minus the talent pool attribute, he also gives them the best chance to lose with his decision-making and clock management.

Observe the latest round of decision-making:
"I told (Jefferson) today that (Lee) will be our starter going forward,” Miles said during his radio show.

Later with the media, Miles said “Right now Jarrett Lee is our starting quarterback and what we would want to do is obviously add to that skill set.”
Meaning, that despite starting 4-0, with two dominant wins over top 20 teams, and propelling themselves to the number one spot in college football, Les Miles is going to play Jordan Jefferson. A quarterback, who before the bowl game against Texas A&M (Welcome, Aggies! NOW GO TO HELL.) last season, had four touchdown passes and nine interceptions in 12 games, leading the way for an offense that fought with Vanderbilt for right to be called the worst in the conference (and naturally, LSU won 11 games with it).

Les Miles has long been playing with house money, but this is a direct flaunting of society's conventions. Jarrett Lee has overcome his demons of throwing the ball to the other team for touchdowns to become a serviceable asset of an offense that only needs to take advantage of the field position given to it by its defense and special teams. And now Miles want to tinker with this inexplicable fortune?

THIS RUN HAS TO END SOMETIME, RIGHT?  No one can walk around with double middle fingers constantly moving in a 360-degree rotation, right?  At some point, the ass has to have a giant bite taken out of it, right?  Sports gods, why do you choose to lounge around on your asses all day while this stuff goes on directly in your sight?

/shakes fist at sky
/Houston Nutt returns to coach Ole Miss in 2012

Oh, well played, sports gods.  I've learned my lesson now, and that lesson is SPORTS ARE HORRIBLE AND STEADILY DRAIN THE MARROW OF LIFE FROM MY SOUL.

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