Monday, November 29, 2010

Saying Goodbye to One of the Greats and One of the Ehhhh, He Could Have Been Good. Maybe.

After Saturday night's loss to Mississippi State, Ole Miss fans slammed shut the book of Jeremiah Masoli's career and subsequently whipped it across the room.  Not necessarily because of what he individually did or didn't do, but because the whole season was A NIGHTMARE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL.  Masoli was one of the few bright spots to the entire season, frustrating at times, no doubt, but his athletic ability allowed us to slap together four wins and at least make things interesting in a few conference games.  Without him, we would have referred to 2010 as the year I plucked out my eyeballs with a spoon.

And so, it comes time to bid goodbye to the first American of Samoan descent to ever visit the South (zero research confirms this could be true).  I am sorry things didn't work out better.  I am sorry your offensive line was what it was.  I am sorry you had a front row seat to the worst defense in the history of a school you'd never even seen before.  I am sorry your best wide receiver was MELVIN HARRIS.

I wish things could have turned out differently, but, alas, it happened the way it happened.  To send you on your way to your impending tryouts with the Roughriders and Argonauts of the world, as well as pay homage to one of the men who helped shape my sense of humor and we unfortunately lost on Sunday, Leslie Nielsen has a few parting words of wisdom:

Capt. Ed Hocken:'re taking a big chance.
Lt. Frank Drebin:  I know.  You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

(For those who thought Stanley should have gotten the call this season)

Lt. Frank Drebin:  Hector Savage. From Detroit. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago.
Capt. Ed Hocken:  Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.
Nordberg:  I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati.
Lt. Frank Drebin:  No you're thinking of Kid New York. He fought out of Philly.
Capt. Ed Hocken:  He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin.
Nordberg:  Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember it was North or South.
Lt. Frank Drebin:  North. South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.
Capt. Hocken:  You sure know your boxing.
Lt. Frank Drebin:  All I know is never bet on the white guy.

The first time my dad saw this part of the movie, I thought I was going to watch him die from suffocation because he was laughing so hard.

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