What Say You, Les Miles?

Fresh off his impressive win over Alabama, it's time we check in with America's favorite in-game-grass eater, protein-lover and fan of the word "piece" in weird places.

"I can tell you that Tiger Stadium may have never been as exciting as it was Saturday afternoon. I can tell you that there were several times that the crowd was instrumental in cheering on its team. When that game ended and that stadium did not leave, I promise you it will be one of those memories I will have for some time. I think anytime that you play a quality opponent, the best thing that you can do is honor that opponent with your finest play."

Or, as your fans would want, you could grind them into a sticky paste, then open strip mall after strip mall in Tuscaloosa, removing all sense of charm from a college football town. Wait, hold on, number two in that list has already been done. However, number one remains in play though.

On how much the Alabama win gives the program a 'bump' in recruiting...
"I think we had a good start in recruiting as it is."

LSU recruits well by simply leaving its doors open and having a secretary collect and file the applications.

On playing up to their potential in non-conference games...
"The matchup is a very interesting piece, how you match up versus your opponent. I think we choose to attack teams differently. We have to take this team on and see how the matchup benefits us and obviously play to our advantages. I think to play four quarters against quality, non-conference opponents is easily the next order of business."

Note the use of the word "piece," it will whipped around many more times. And that order of business will be on hold until 2011 when Louisiana-Monroe is not the non-conference opponent.

On if the big plays in the passing game have been there all year and just weren't executed...
"I think the open week, we took time to do some things in the passing game that we needed to do and redo and things that have been there all year, yes, but that we needed to execute better and continue to press in the same direction. I think our football team recognizes when they see us practice that we can throw the football, and we're coming. It just needs to stay there, and we need to continue to execute it that way. Show what we have, not necessarily malfunction for some reason."

Never change how your train of thought works, Les Miles, NEVER CHANGE.

On LSU's high success rate on fourth down in clutch situations...
"I think when you're put in a position where it's a key down and distance, fourth down and short certainly, it's not inconceivable that is a down and distance that you can achieve, but I think that any time you call a team to perform on fourth down, it tells them that they can do this. They've done it routinely, so when they step onto the field in those situations, they are not adverse to it, they're comfortable, they have character and they perform. It would be a mistake not to call them to that opportunity."

What is long-winded, zigzag and whatever pops in the head next, Alex.

On if he feels the offense should keep its foot on the pedal regardless of matchups...
"Again, those are things that are matchups. The first thing you are going to do is secure victory, and you're going to play where you know victory lies. That would be our first order of business, and then, there are other pieces of your offense, other pieces of your defense and special teams that you'd like to get better at, and those would be orders of business as well, but it will all be about the matchups and all about first things first, the victory."

"...play where you know victory lies." I'm starting to think that being an LSU beat writer might be the greatest job in the world.

On playing state schools...
"I think any time that you fill a stadium, and the state can come in and root for two teams, I think it adds interest. I think it's a good piece of business for us."

I mean, we only have to pay those bastards like $350K. Those over-educated assholes at Tulane always ask for $500K.

On playing for a field goal after DT Drake Nevis' sack and forced fumble gave the LSU offense the ball back...
"I think that's accurate. The 10-point position means that they have to score twice. It was a piece that we did not want to forgo."

COMMON WORDS ARE MY ENEMY.

"When you have a missed assignment, that's obviously a real issue in protection, but when you're doing it right, and you're blocking them, that's a key piece. It appeared to me that our offensive line gave us good protection without mistake -- and when a mistake was made it was different -- but without mistake, I thought they were very, very good in protection."

Mistakes are key piece of not being made a mistake in issues of key pieces of mistake.

On taking 'unconventional' risks...
"The only thing I can tell you is there are specific pieces of information that you feel like you have to listen to, and you have talented guys."

Yes, Dark Prince, I agree. A fake punt is the piece we need in this position.

On LSU's position in the BCS standings...
"I'm not ready to lobby for my team at this point. The only thing I can tell you is that we have been really on the sideline of this BCS conversation, and it involved many other teams. It just never could seem to get to us, which included being underdogs in our own stadium, which I just possibly can't imagine who we would play and that people would think that in Tiger Stadium LSU would be an underdog. It's not within my understanding how somebody could not see that as a mistake. I think our football team is enjoying the position that we're in. It's an earned position. It's not one that is void of schedule. It's rich in schedule, and you can see we play everybody. The interest is how we finish. At some point in time, I will lobby very hard for the best team in the SEC. I promise you that. At some point in time, whoever that is, I will lobby hard."

/left side of brain declares war on right side
/brain blown out the back of skull

On his penchant for tasting grass...
"I played baseball when I was a young man. I played football when I was a young man, and I've always seemed to enjoy a blade or two now and then, not that this was a meal in any way but more of kind of being in touch with where I was at."

THIS BLADE OF GRASS TASTES LIKE GRASS. I MUST BE STANDING ON GRASS. NOT SURE WHAT KIND, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY GRASS. WAIT, (chews more), YES, DEFINITELY GRASS. YUMYUMYUMYUM.