Before we get to the amateur hour that normally rampages throughout this place, I want to stop for a minute and get serious (the kind of seriousness that doesn't involve me boiling with anger over the incompetence of someone involved with Ole Miss), which is very rare here. If you haven't heard, Mississippi State defensive end Nick Bell, who was diagnosed with a form of skin cancer in October after a surgery to remove a growth on his brain, is not in good condition at the time of this writing. According to Dan Mullen, who visited with Bell today, Bell "took a turn for the worse in the past three days" after it was discovered that the cancer has spread in his body, and underwent emergency surgery Monday morning. And according to the Clarion-Ledger's Brandon Marcello, State AD Scott Stricklin described Bell's condition Monday night as "grave."
There's a million ways to say how awful this is, but it's probably most succinctly covered by a simple this SUCKS. Cancer in general is a terrible, terrible disease, but it's made exponentially worse and miserably unfair when it affects someone who isn't even out of college yet. If you are of the praying type, I suggest you remember Nick Bell during those. If you're not, it never hurts to start. It is my ultimate hope that one day I become outraged at an Ole Miss offensive tackle for letting Nick Bell beat him and sack the quarterback or stuff a run play.
Now, back to the regularly scheduled silliness....
A new feature (oh, how I hope this one survives) here in which I somehow (see: stealth and knowledge of locks) get my hands on letters/memos from athletic directors to various people under their iron fist rule. It's also quite possible that these are not actually real. I'm not an expert on authenticity.
Jay Jacobs, Director of Athletics
392 South Donahue Drive
Auburn, Alabama 36849
First, let me congratulate you on another fine win against an SEC program. Your preparation, game plan and execution were nearly flawless. I look forward to a strong finish and hope to see all the great members of the Auburn family gathered in Atlanta for the SEC Championship Game (I won't mention the next step until we take the first one).
The purpose of my writing you today is to remind you that our great star, Cameron Newton, will most likely be leaving our family in January after our bowl game. In order for us to continue having seasons like this one, a season in which we could not stop the Country Tech Green Eggs and Ham from scoring 28 points if we wanted to, we must find another Cameron. I know this is a difficult order, but I trust you and your staff are well aware how important this task is. I spoke to Coach Roof the other day and he mentioned how dedicated to this search he was. I encourage all of you to approach this recruiting effort with the same zeal and urgency as he has shown.
I'd also like bring to your attention the interest generated in Coach Malzahn from other schools due to the terrific performance of his offense. More than likely, it will be difficult to retain Gus, but we will make every effort to do so. I would suggest that you begin making a short list of replacement candidates should Gus move on to a head coaching opportunity. I think Coach Taylor would make an excellent coordinator, and - no, I'm only kidding, just hoping to get a laugh out of you. We all know Trooper is invaluable where he is: influencing recruits and towel-waving. But seriously, start thinking about that position.
In closing, I wish you good luck this week against UT-Chattanooga as well as the remainder of the season. Go forward with confidence knowing you have the full support of the Auburn family.