For What Won't SEC Fans Tailgate?

Hey, look!  Another list!  But to that I say, until there are more hours in the day, or I become more efficient with my time, I'll always fall back on list-making when I haven't the time to properly explore the space and launch into a dissertation about the reunion tour of The Houston Nutt and David Lee Experience.

/crosses fingers for more hours in the day
/STEP TO IT, MAYANS

As I mentioned the other day on Twitter (you too can follow me by pressing on a link over there ------->), an Alabama fan let Clay Travis, of book, Internet, and bad joke fame, know that he and a group of Alabama fans were tailgating for the HBO special on alleged pay-for-play operations going on at Auburn:

So the question that comes to my mind, while I should be doing other important things, is for what won't SEC fans tailgate? BEHOLD, the list:

Opening of Target
Opening of Super Target
Funerals (fans in Louisiana are the lone exception)
Basketball Games (not even sure this happens in Kentucky)
National Spelling Bee
Open Bar Wedding Receptions
Church (Baptism days may be excluded)
Youth Soccer Games
Interior Decorating
Snacks
Democratic National Convention
Coffee Breaks
Reading (assuming literacy is present)
Movies With Wizards, Vampires, and Werewolves n' Shit
Jim Delany's Inauguration as Lord of College Football
Surgery (at least for the patient)
AA Meetings
Trip to Graceland (respect, y'all)
Ironing
Five for Fighting Shows (only because they won't be there, since it's so, you know, GAY AND STUFF)

And that's pretty much it. Everything else, and literally, everything else, has been or will be a tailgating experience.