As spring football practices wind down across the SEC and country, it's important that we learn as much as we can about what happened at as many schools as we can. There's no way we'll make it to all of them, but, dammit, we will try (I suggest keeping your hopes as low as possible). And to catch up, we're ramping up production, trying to hit two schools a day.
Lastly for today, Kentucky:
"Did someone say my name? Anyone looking for Coach Cal? Anyone? No? My mistake."
"Well, you know, the guys are really working hard. Just trying to get better every day. I really like our attitude and energy, but-"
"Whoops, sorry fellas. Must have taken a wrong turn back there. Hey, look, my watch. I knew I forgot something. This is kind of like..."
/spends 15 minutes telling self-deprecating Italian jokes
"Oh, right, Joker. Didn't see you standing there with all the mics and cameras in the way. Sorry buddy. I'll get out of your way."
"Yeah, like I was saying, our energy has been good. We're still looking for our leaders to step up and take control of the team. You know, as coaches we can only do so much, so at some point your seniors need to make it their team, and I think-"
"Alright, seriously, someone said my name. I know I heard it. Say, has anyone seen LeBron around? He texted me to say he was going to stop by for a few minutes. No one has seen him? Hmmm. Well, I guess I better hit him back. But if anyone needs me, I'm just around the corner, okay? Aright, guys. Talk to you later."
"Anyway, we hope some seniors seize ownership of the team. Hold the other guys accountable through the spring and during summer workouts. Because that's what all good teams have. It's about-"
"HEY, WASN'T COACH CAL HERE?"
"Uh, yeah, but he just left."
"DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE WENT OR WHEN HE'LL BE BACK?"
"No, he didn't say."
"BUMMER. WAIT, I THOUGHT THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BASKETBALL GAME HERE."
"No, this is spring football practice."
"Spring football practice."
"OH. SO THERE'S NO BASKETBALL GAME?"
"No, just football practice. You guys wanna stay and watch?"
/pick up the scent of Calipari and move on
"You know our fans have been great. We're trying to get them to buy in to what we're doing. We've made some strides and I hope-"
"Sorry we're late. Got lost on the...wait. We're in the wrong place, aren't we. Dammit."