Thursday, April 14, 2011

A List Of Things the QB Killa Has Touched With His Icy Hand of Death

Nathan Stanley, former Jevan Snead understudy and one-time starter, announced last night that he was leaving the Ole Miss football team and will transfer to another school.  With his transfer, you can put another notch on the hatchet of the Houston Nutt, affectionately (and by that I mean burning hate of a million solar flares) dubbed the "QB Killa" by Arkansas fans.  The notch representing Stanley will go right next to Casey Dick's and Matt Jones', who both made an SEC Championship Game, as well as Mitch Mustain's, who has gone on to do absolutely nothing at USC, other than get arrested for selling prescription drugs.

Some of Nutt's other victims include:

Jeremiah Masoli
Jevan Snead (with an assist from Bradley Sowell)
A deer he ran down
Arkansas fans' sanity
Copperhead down by the pond behind his house
Jerrell Powe's appetite
Every Arkansas quarterback ever
Felix Jones (Arkansas fan:  "COULD HAVE HAD 7,000 YARDS RUSHING IF NOT FOR GIVING THE BALL TO DARREN MCFADDEN SO MANY TIMES.")
The forward pass
Glenn Beck ("Never trust a man who cries on the TV.")
Raymond Cotton
Andy Kennedy
Enrique Davis
Sweatpants

Complete sentences
Kentrell Lockett (Arkansas fan: "NOT ENOUGH CONDITIONING WORK. SO LAZY AND SOFT.")
The funny version of Kentrell Lockett's Twitter account
Text messages
The phrase "Cool, calm, and collected"
Adjectives that are not the words "awesome" and "special"
Those birds flying over Arkansas on New Year's Eve ("Blackbirds creep me out.")
The state of Texas
NCAA waivers
Sweaters with sleeves
Non-flammable offense
General Motors
Sega
Jay Leno

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