Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Ole Miss Knows How To Keep A Secret

After completely unnecessary debates, committees and voting processes, which resulted in infighting, outrage and the bubbling to the surface of some underlying racism (COLONEL REBEL IS MY MASCOT!11!!!1! - Seriously, burn in a fire, supporters of that), you may recall that Ole Miss finally chose a new mascot so the seven people who initially cared about this would finally stop yapping about it. After passing over a shark and a combination of Duffman from The Simpsons and the Human Being from Community, voters chose the black bear option to be the giant foam character that runs around on the field and entertains children in The Grove (<------This is what a mascot does; it does not create a sweeping change of the landscape at a school).

Yesterday, the first picture of the mascot hit the Internet thanks to the hard-hitting, friend-of-the-people at Red Cup Rebellion.  How did they, or the person who took the picture, gain access to the foam structure before it was unveiled to the public?  Did they crack some elaborate code?  Was there a retina scanner in which they used replicas of Dan Jones' and/or Pete Boone's eyeballs to gain entry?  Were Cobra Security guards clubbed over the head and a lock jimmied open?  HOW DID THEY PULL THIS OFF?

No, friends, it was none of these.  The person, or persons, found a much easier way to gain access to the black bear foam.  They walked by a table, saw it lying there next to a Dickie's jumpsuit that may or may not be part of its attire and took a picture.

To be fair to those in charge of keeping the foam-polyester blend, this looks like a room on the second floor of the Student Union, so at least the effort to climb stairs or press a button on the elevator had to be made.  Additionally, in their defense, no one goes on the second floor of the Union.  I only went up there when I needed to use the facilities for an extended period of time.  Other than the people who had offices up there, it was void of human existence, so the bathrooms were IMMACULATE.  No cleaner or spacious bathrooms existed on campus (I know because I researched it for four years).  I always felt like George Costanza when he had his private bathroom in the office.

Anyway, there's your first glimpse at the monster that further fractured the Ole Miss fanbase.  Strother Martin of Cool Hand Luke is most pleased.

1 comment:

  1. Gray -
    My thoughts on the bear are as follows. They should have had potential costumes for the 3 mascots in the run off ready so that after the vote, a mascot would have taken the field that weekend. To do all of that in the middle of football season was a distraction that no one needed. Because no mascot was ready - everyone - (not just Ole Miss fans) - is confused. “Rebel” the bear should have made his debut ASAP. Case in point - Banks Shepherd is an 2009 Ole Miss grad working in the athletic department at Vandy. He tweeted this before the Ole Miss /Vandy basketball game in Nashville in January.

    "Just had to explain to VU mktg staff that having "Ole Miss Rebel Black Bears" in the PA script for tonight was a bad idea. #disasteraverted”
    "Clearly Ole Miss has their work cut out for them in marketing that they are still the Rebels but they have a black bear as a mascot.”

    Vanderbilt is an SEC school (the most scholastic in the SEC) and THEY didn’t even get it! I agree with Banks that the Ole Miss marketing team have their work cut out for them. So far - I give them a D-. I’m annoyed with the entire process and think it all was handled poorly. They should have voted before the season and had a mascot ready for the first game. Everything about last years season is something I’d like to forget!