Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Rejected Snake Stabler Wine Label Names

As mentioned on the Twitter early Monday, Kenny "Snake" Stabler is now glad-handing his way through the state of Alabama, hawking his own wine label called "12."  While there are, at the bare minimum, 75,000 jokes that could be made about Snake and his relationship with alcohol and general redneck-like behavior, none will be made here because, after all, this is a wine label we're talking about, so we'll be keeping it classy (note:  not a good chance of actually happening).

Even though I despise Alabama just about as much as one can, I cannot help but love Snake Stabler.  I suppose I attribute that love to 80% silver mane, 10% good ol' boy redneck and another 10% to the I-don't-give-a-damn flag he so prominently waved over the last 10-15 years in which I've followed his exploits.  To this day, one of my favorite memories from attending SEC games involves Snake, who I spotted walking straight at me before an Ole Miss/Alabama game in Tuscaloosa.

I was walking in the direction of the stadium to watch another David Cutcliffe team get torn apart limb-by-limb, when I saw the silver mane flowing in the wind.  As we walked by one another, I don't remember what I said ("How's it going?" maybe; my originality has not improved in the greeting department), but the Snake gave me a good Foley "Alright," with a head nod thrown in.  I have no idea where the hell he was going, as the game was about an hour from starting and he was heading in the direction of the Quad, away from the stadium.  I like to think he was getting in a half dozen more cold ones before taking to the radio waves because that seems like something Snake would do.

And on that note, the Snake Stabler rejected wine label names:

You better believe I'm turning this into a mural to prominently display in my home

Snake Eyes
Shrimp Juice
Gardens of Foley
Snake Venom*
Baldwin County Farms
Riviera de Crimson
LA Gulf
Snake Party
Tides of Mobile Bay
Gulfport Guzzler
Snake Skin
Locks of Silver
I Played For The Bear So No Matter What We Produce You're Going To Buy It
Mud Runner
Snake Charms
Snake Charmer
Championship Haze

*Turns out, this was a little too obvious and was once a soft drink sold in Houston when Snake played with the Oilers

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