Why Gray Should or Should Not Ever Gamble With Real American Dollars in Large Quantities

I tend to fancy myself as someone milling around the edges of knowing what is going on in college football, but I rarely put that limited knowledge to use, say, for financial gain.  Sure, I am in some type of picks league (short version of our rules:  Pick six games a week, any games, points based off winning and losing, $50 entry fee, winner takes $200-ish), but I feel like I need more.  However, I also know that in said picks league, going 5-1 each week is just as likely as 0-6 (never pulled off the perfect week), leaving me open to financial hemorrhaging should I dare to try more dollars on individual games.

So to find out whether my diet would consist of Ramen noodles (mix them with ranch dressing and you've got yourself a real treat!) or large quantities of meats and cheeses if I ever did embark down the slippery slope that would most likely lead me to living out my days in a YMCA shelter, I shall conduct an experiment of the opposite of the scientific variety.  I will start each week with $100 Confederate dollars and wager accordingly on the bowl games of that week.  Then, on Sunday night, we'll see just how much money I have left.  Though, for next week, since there are so many games, I'll probably have to make a visit to the Richmond Central Trust so I can spend a little more recklessly (if those bastards even give me the money; lousy distrust for the common man).
/shakes fist indignantly

EDIT:  As much fun as it would be to shake my fist indignantly at an imaginary bank, that process is stupid.  How about I just do $20 on every game?  Not to worry though, them dollar bills are still Confederate.
/spends $35 on a loaf of bread

This week has five games, starting with tonight's thrilling Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl St. Petersburg Bowl, which has Southern Miss and Louisville battling to the death.  And I said this during the bowl preview extravaganza gala I did last week, but not enough credit is being given to this operation for successfully working in two different meanings of "bowl" into a bowl game.  That, my friends, is AMERICAN SPONSORSHIP INGENUITY.  Let's get this thing in gear.

Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl St. Petersburg Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Louisville (-3)
Dollars at stake:  $20
Rationale:  Mmmmmmm.  Beef 'O' Brady's....

/vomits honey BBQ wing sauce everywhere
Pick: Southern Miss (+3)

MAACO Bowl Las Vegas
Utah vs. Boise State (-17.5)
Dollars at stake: $20
Rationale: Is this the first ever bowl game in which the city in which the game is being played has been thrown in at the end? They couldn't go with MAACO Bowl of Las Vegas or even Las Vegas MAACO Bowl? This is like an incomplete sentence or dangling modifier. You had an entire year to figure this out MAACO Bowl Las Vegas and you failed. Reap my disgust and displeasure from 1200 miles away.
Pick: Boise State (-17.5)

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Navy vs. San Diego State (-4)
Dollars at stake: $20
Rationale: Would you be excited to travel ALL THE WAY to your home stadium to play a bowl game? Or is San Diego state just excited to be in a bowl? How do you get a handle on their emotional state? DOES NAVY EVEN CARE? Ah yes, now I remember why gambling drives people to the brink of remaining a functioning member of society.
Pick: Navy (+4)

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Tulsa vs. Hawaii (-10.5)
Dollars at state: $20, plus sanity
Rationale: Another case of going nowhere yet playing in a bowl game. The last time Hawaii left the island (Lost flashback ensuing.....aaaaannnndddd, done. I miss that show.) for a bowl game, they were drilled by Georgia. Granted, they had no business playing Georgia, but I don't like Hawaii away from home. I watched Tulsa lose earlier this year to East Carolina, who is one of a smattering of teams with a worse defense than Ole Miss'.  I could not have less of a clue what happens here.
Pick: Hawaii (-10.5)

Little Caesars Bowl
Florida International vs. Toledo (-1.5)
Dollars at stake: $20
Rationale: Sun Belt vs. MAC, ROUND TWO. On a side note, and a major one at that, this is the worst bowl game of all-time. Detroit. December. MAC. Sun Belt. 7,500 people. HOW DARE WE TAKE THESE PRECIOUS GAMES AWAY FROM THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.
Pick: The winter solstice pointed me to Toledo (-1.5), so far be it from me to go against that cranky old man.