Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Give Each Other $20

There wasn't much time for anything else because, you guessed it, I am very busy and important, but I did take a few minutes to look under the couch cushions and see what fell off the plate in the past 24 hours or so.  As much as I hate powering through a round of links (finding them SUCKS), I get the feeling this could turn into a steady meal during the offseason.  Think along the lines of only one plate of a Golden Corral buffet.  It's edible, doesn't quite fill up the hole and will ultimately leave you wishing for the sweet release of death before your stomach murders itself.  With that, onward....

As you've probably noticed, rage is sort of like my Vinny Testaverde of words to express my anger.  It's been around a long time, I've gotten some solid miles out of it, but it often gets overused and fails me miserably.  However, in this case, it's a perfect fit.  Texas, after a personally enjoyable for me 5-7 season, will enter 2011 without its offensive coordinator, offensive line coach and defensive line and special teams coach.  Greg Davis, Mac McWhorter (Friday Night Lights Mac?  Nnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!) and Mike Tolleson, respectively, either resigned or retired.  I bring this up because, at last check, Tyrone Nix, James Shibest, Terry Price and Dave Rader are still gainfully employed by the University of Mississippi, who just achieved the worst season since a Shrimp Boat Captain was placed in charge of the football program.  And it's a debate whether or not the Shrimp Boat's 2007 squad could beat the 2010 team (I've got the 2010 team at -3).  WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

So that's how they do it
There's nothing groundbreaking here, but it's a solid profile piece by the New York Times on Chip Kelly and Oregon's jet-rocket-missile-(crystal meth?  I'm just sayin')-fueled offense.  The main bit of information I took away from this is that I do not ever want to play Oregon.
(You may have to register to read, but it's free, though still a complete pain in the ass.)

I assume Gerry DiNardo wasn't available
Indiana has been in the market for a new head coach to lead them to more 4-8 seasons since it fired Bill Lynch some days ago (I apologize if my knowledge of the recent history of Indiana football is a little hazy).  They've apparently tabbed Oklahoma defensive coordinator Kevin Wilson to be the next guy they fire.  Wilson, last seen wiping away the tears of laughter while watching film on UConn's offense, is set to become the Hoosier's sixth coach since 1986.

Jordan Jefferson and Jarrett Lee just lost their jobs
Former Georgia quarterback Zack Mettenberger has committed to play football at LSU.  Now, Gray, how can a guy with no college experience already have won that job?  BECAUSE HE'S NOT JORDAN JEFFERSON OR JARRETT LEE.  If you recall, Mettenberger was kicked of Georgia's team last spring after pleading guilty to two misdemeanor counts of sexual battery of a woman, or, more commonly known as putting his hands on things they should not have been on.  Let's hope he's learned his lesson and uses a different approach with the ladies.  Perhaps, something like, oh, I don't know, "Me.  Quarterback.  LSU."  That bit of gold is like fishing with dynamite.

Yes, we will be keeping that $750,000
Earlier this football season, Tennessee paid North Carolina a cool $750k NOT to play them in football in the 2011 or 2012 seasons.  Now, the two schools are matched up in the Music City Bowl.  No word if Tennessee can give the Tar Heels its share of the bowl money to not play them again.

The head of Lee Corso has been found
Not his actual head, because that would have SUCKED, but the big cartoon one made famous on GameDay and ESPN commercials.

That's not who we wanted
Minnesota fans were a little disappointed with the hiring of Jerry Kill, formerly of Northern Illinois, as their new head coach.  And that's okay, because Kill was equally disappointed when he realized that, yes, everyday in Minnesota from November to March looks exactly like this:

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