FRIDAY, MAY 13th
Clarion-Ledger Ole Miss beat reporter Kyle Veazey places a call to Ole Miss head coach Houston Nutt seeking comment on a police report that linebacker Clarence Jackson of Hume Hall TV-stealing fame and defensive lineman Delvin Jones were arrested for public drunkenness (which, outside of Oxford, isn't really a crime anymore unless you're not wearing pants and cursing at every object and person in sight). While Nutt did not initially respond, he did send Veazey this text:
"N meetin...will call u l8tr...will let u no more...oops...almost let pita sndwich burn...hdn"
Twenty minutes later, while Veazey was still attempting to decipher what any of that meant, Nutt returns the call...
"Kyle Veazey, betcha didn't think you'd get a call back this quickly, did you?
"Coach, I always know you'll call back, so I'm always prepared."
"I like that, Kyle Veazey. Like it a lot. Reminds me of the young men I want on this team. Smart. Ready. Hungry. All of 'em."
"I understand. Oh, by the way, what happened with the pita? At least, I think that's what you said."
"Well, it burned. Wasn't focused. Distracted by some of the things going on around me. Lost my concentration and now my lunch is ruined. Had to order out. I think I'm getting a salad. Won't be as good as that pita. Might be a little more healthy for me though. Tough day all around."
"Yeah, I wanted to ask you a little bit more about that. What happened with Clarence Jackson and Delvin Jones? Were they arrested and are or will they be suspended?"
"They were arrested for public drunk last night and I have suspended them from team activities indefinitely."
"Given that this is not their first time to be suspended or find their way into your doghouse, could they be kicked off the team?"
"Oh, boy, I'm thinking about it. Makes me so mad. We’ve had such an unbelievable offseason. We’ve had a really good January, February, March, April, this May. We’ve got two selfish guys that just make a wrong terrible decision that embarrasses the 98 percent that do it right, that’s what makes you so mad. These guys have been talked to repeatedly. That’s what bothers me.”
(the above is almost a full, actual quote)
"When will you decide?"
"I'll take the weekend to make up my mind. Need to talk to them and see where they're at. Let 'em know how mad I am."
"Well, thanks for your time, Coach. I'm sure we'll be in touch Sunday or Monday."
"Hey, buddy, you got it. Now don't you go get in too much trouble this weekend. Can't have you not out there reporting and such. Hahaha!"
"No need to worry about me, Coach. The wife makes sure that doesn't happen."
"Ooooohhh, man, I know what you mean! Hahaha! Keeping us honest! You take care, Kyle."
"Sure thing, Coach. Thanks again."
(end of conversation)
MONDAY, MAY 16th
Houston Nutt issues a statement that both Jackson and Jones have been kicked off the team, removing any chance one of them will do something else in June or July that will get them kicked of the team then. Although he did not make a public appearance to issue the statement, this is what he probably would have looked like had he done so.
"Got some unfortunate news to announce here today. Tough that this had to happen, but decision have to be made for everyone. No special circumstances allowed."
"I have told Delvin Jones and Clarence Jackson to GIT. GIT OUT OF HERE. TIRED OF THEIR NONSENSE. LACK OF RESPECT. ACCOUNTABILITY. ALL OF IT. I SAID, "GIT! NO MORE! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!" I CAN'T HAVE THAT AROUND HERE. THIS PROGRAM. WE'RE ABOUT WINNING AND TRUST. YOU'VE SEEN THE CIRCLE. CAN'T LIVE OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE!"
(steps back to compose himself)
"But, uh, Clarence Jackson and Delvin Jones have been dismissed from the Ole Miss football program for violation of team rules. I believe in trying to make a difference in a young man’s life, and second chances are a part of that. However, you reach a point where you can’t get through to them, and as a team, we have to move on. We wish them the absolute best and hope they are able to get their lives in order.”
(another almost full, actual quote)