A vision so glorious, so perfect, and so overwhelming, I suppose it was always never destined to happen. Some things, I guess, are just too good for this world. But, even if they're remotely good, TV people, being the evil morons that they are, will CRUSH THEM WITHOUT HESITATION.
"And not to overshadow Ole Miss' moment in the sun, because it is a glorious moment for that school, its long-suffering fans, and a wonderful tale of redemption for first-year head coach Mike Leach, but, as you many of you may know, I have an announcement of the bittersweet variety. Tonight's SEC Championship game was my final call for the SEC on CBS, and with CBS in general.
"I have called this network home for almost three decades in my broadcasting career, and I have loved every minute of it. One cannot ask to be surrounded by a more talented group of people, and, on a personal note, finer group of human beings than I have been. I will always be grateful to them and will miss them terribly as I move into retirement.
"I'd also like to thank the many people throughout my career who gave me a chance when maybe I didn't deserve one, and for sticking with me over the years. My partners over the years are too many to name, but it was a pleasure to have worked with all of you, and especially the man sitting to my left. Just when I thought I couldn't learn anything else, he managed to teach me something new each and every week. It was one of the many reasons I looked forward to Saturdays.
"And finally, I'd like to thank my wife, Nancy, for letting me do this for so long. She was the one who kept me going when I so often questioned myself. I look forward to our time together in the coming years."
"Well, I'd like to jump in here and say a few words if I can. I just want to thank you for making the past few years so special. Foks, this guy is a special, special talent and person. Some of my favorite moments in my career have taken place during our time in the booth, and I'm not sure I have the words to let you know how much I cherished it. You're one of the greats in our profession and I'm proud to call you my friend."
"I, well, I thank you for that. I'm gonna miss it, that's for sure. But, it's time now to move forward. To happier things, I suppose. I'd like to bring in my replacement for next season. And although he couldn't be here tonight, we've got him via satellite. Gus Johnson, I officially pass the torch to you, my friend."
"HAHA!!! Verne, it is a great privilege and honor to be moving into the booth you once occupied. I know I will never match what you brought, but I could not be more excited to be headed there."
"Ooooh, I don't know about that, but thank you for the kind words. Were you able to watch the game tonight, and where are you right now?"
"I'm in Jacksonville, Florida, just down the road from you, getting ready for the Jaguars/Bills game tomorrow afternoon. And I did get a chance to watch some of the second half in between meetings with the coaches and players here. Great win by Ole Miss tonight, and oh, boy, is that Barry Brunetti special. Can't wait to get a look at him in person next year."
"I hope for your sake, and Ole Miss', he sticks around next year. Haha! He was a joy to watch under Coach Leach this season. And might I add, a fine young man."
"HAHA! I can't wait, Verne. Cannot wait.
"Well, I know we're all looking forward to you getting started.
"Thanks again, Verne. And, Gary, it's gonna be GREAT working with you. GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT
UGH. SCREW YOU, CBS.