Les Miles is Hiring

With the departure of offensive coordinator Gary Crowton, who, last week, chose to take his Chevrolet Corsica offense to Maryland (who, in turn, is committed to never winning more than eight games), LSU coach Les Miles is in the market for a new offensive coordinator.  One could argue he's simply looking for AN offensive coordinator because it's fairly debatable whether he's had one since 2007, but whatever your position is in that argument, LES MILES IS IN CHARGE OF A COACHING SEARCH.  Now, while the possibilities for a hire similar or worse than Crowton are extremely high, he does deserve credit for the John Chavis hire last season.  No doubt Chavis essentially fell into his lap, but Miles still had to back off his desire to bring Greg Robinson to Baton Rouge*.

*No proof that this was true, but IT WAS.

After scouring the internets and hounding sources (total number of sources:  zero!), here's a list of candidates on which Miles is focusing.


Justin Fuente, Co-offensive coordinator, TCU
Fresh off a Rose Bowl win, Fuente has been in charge of calling the plays for the Horned Frog offense the last two years at TCU. In 2010, TCU was 12th in the nation in total offense and 4th in scoring offense, which would indicate he may know what he is doing, thus making this hire way too difficult for Miles, a man who abhors offenses that work.


Steve Kragthorpe, Unemployed
You know all those parties celebrating the end of the Crowton era that are still going on across Louisiana? They're about to turn into riots and anarchy if Kragthorpe is dusted off and brought to Baton Rouge. Kragthorpe is most well-known for taking over a strong Louisville program abandoned by Bobby Petrino and smashing that thing straight into the ground, crumbling what was one of the NCAA's best offenses and going 15-21 in three seasons before being fired.  PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN.


Cookie Monster, ?
Les Miles is a man of simple pleasures and interests. And what better way to keep him entertained during games than a children's character mumbling incoherent nonsense about cookies as the Tigers' offense falls ass-backwards into another touchdown.


An assistant coach at Southern Miss no one has ever heard of
Because, you know, the last time LSU hired someone from Southern Miss, it worked out really, really well:

The great Curley Hallman, career record at LSU: 16-28


The Devil, shadowy figure and major LSU booster
He's essentially been in charge since the never-will-happen-again-in-10,000-years two-loss national championship season for LSU in 2007, so the transition would be pretty smooth. Plus, it would be nice to officially recognize how Les Miles has won those games he was won. Or all of them.