Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Commentary: The OBC on the OBC

A Photoshop magician would have you believe that Steve Spurrier spent his weekend watching the Daytona 500 shirtless and drinking Coors (and not even the light stuff, but the banquet beer!).  It's possible he or she could be right, but might I remind you of Spurrier's commitment to not looking like Phil Fulmer.  It's also possible that spending four months with Stephen Garcia can drive a man to depths previously unknown, which would explain the letting oneself go in which the Ball Coach may have engaged.  To set the record straight, the man himself, Steve Spurrier, is here to discuss his weekend. Take it away, coach.

"Well, you know, it's been an interesting day.  I guess I started getting, you know, text messages early this morning telling me I wasn't wearing a shirt on some website.  Then my wife called while I was over at the putting green and told me they said I was drinking beer at the Daytona 500 and not wearing a shirt.  And I believe they said it was Coors that I was drinking.  Now, I know many of you out there know me and you know there's no way I'm drinking Coors. 

"Stopped drinking Coors when I found out that's what Doug Johnson drank the entire summer when we were down at Florida.  He laid around the pool all one summer, chasing girls and drinking Coors.  If you remember how Doug did that year, you'd never touch that stuff again. 

"Besides, what am I, poor?  If I'm drinking a little beer with a little sunshine on my face, I'm sticking to the Rolling Rock.  Maybe toss in a few Heinekens.  Like I always said, you know, you can't spell poor without part of Coors.  Or something like that.  That joke may have worked better with Citrus and UT.  But, same idea.

"As for me being at Daytona, let me ask you something.  If it's 75 degrees, sunny and a chance for no clouds, where do you think I'm gonna be?  Huh?  I'll let you in on a little secret.  It ain't at some racetrack with all that racket and Alabama, Auburn and Tennessee fans.  I'm on the course, trying to squeeze in 36, depending on how my back feels.  That, and the Columbia police report from Saturday night.

"So I don't know how this picture got made, hell, I haven't even seen it.  But as for being at the Daytona 500, I was not there.  Actually never been.  Heard it's a good time, you know, with the crowds and the speed and everything.  I got talked into one time going down and doing the Richard Petty thing.  You know, where you get in the car and drive around the track.  Went about 150.  Not as fast as I'd have liked, but, you know, that's their thing down there.  So I just did what they said I could do.

"I did set the course record.  Even kept the steering wheel.  Not sure if I was supposed to do that, but I thought I needed to keep a reminder.  I put it up in my office, right next to the picture of me and Stephen sitting in the sun in the infield at Darlington."

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