Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Vince Young Denied a Multitude of Retroactive Awards

Earlier today, the head of the Heisman Trust, William Dockery, announced that there would be no winner of the 2005 trophy after former USC running back Reggie Bush elected to forfeit the trophy yesterday before it was taken from him.  This decision adds to a growing list of awards Vince Young wanted, but was denied because, you know, he never actually won them. 

But based on information provided by ESPN-like "sources" in the Houston area, The Belly of the Beast can now give you an exclusive look at the other awards Young was petitioning to receive after Houston Youth Sports directors stripped the original winners for various infractions.

1989 YMCA Basketball Red Team Hustle Award
     -Winner was discovered to have only given 97% effort instead of the required 110%

1989 Hiram Clarke Yankees Best Teammate Award
     -Winner recently admitted he hated their right fielder

1991 Raiders Football MVP
     -Technically, he won the MVP for being the quarterback, but he wants the MVP for being a linebacker

1993 YMCA Basketball Rockets Leading Scorer
     -If three-point line had been in play, he would have lead team and league in scoring

1995 Hiram Clarke Rangers Home Run King
     -In 2004, winner was discovered to be a 17-year old playing 12-year old baseball

1997 Punt, Pass and Kick Winner
     -Area champion admitted to filling his football with helium; later offered coaching job by Jackie Sherrill

And in a somewhat related story, additional awards have recently been stripped from their winners. The include, but are not limited to:

1997 Heisman Trophy - Charles Woodson, Michigan
     -Heisman Trust now realizes that running a punt back for a touchdown against Ohio State really doesn't mean that much

2003 Lou Groza Award - Jonathan Nichols, Ole Miss
     -In order to be the best kicker in the nation, one probably should have made a 47 and 36-yarder to win the game in the most important game of the year

2003 Heisman Trophy - Jason White, Oklahoma
     -Heisman Trust now realizes anyone with a functioning arm can put up big numbers at Oklahoma

2007 Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year - Mark Mangino, Kansas
2007 Paul "Bear" Bryant Award - Mark Mangino, Kansas


  1. Anonymous9:44 AM

    Your forgot Rod Barnes

  2. Embarrassing oversight on my part. In my defense, I was looking at only football awards for the second portion of the post. But if I had ventured into basketball, Roderick would have had his Naismith Award stripped.