It's only Tuesday, but it's never too early to begin your meticulous preparation for wagering so that you can properly waffle over various point spreads from Wednesday night to Friday afternoon. And we all know it's not a real bet unless you interpret defensive passing efficiency statistics combined with the tides schedule in the Gulf and that one Tennessee fan who annoyed the hell out of you five years ago in Knoxville to mean that, YES, the road underdog will cover. So to add to the information most certainly necessary to making a successful bet, The Belly of the Beast is here to help.
But first, a free exercise in wagering to get the competitive juices flowing. In the video below, a Phillies fan in one of those body suits makes his way out on the field to cause 90 seconds of real, actual excitement during a baseball game. Will he: tasered without mercy or eventually run out of gas due to the 37 Beast Lites he had before the game? MAKE YOUR WAGERS.
If you had Braves' outfielder Matt Diaz sweeping the leg, you, my friend, anticipated the late tack-on field goal for the cover and your pockets are now full of imaginary money.
Mississippi State players continue to look at one another waiting for someone to become its vocal leader
The Bulldogs are apparently a team lead by those who lead by example. It's a fine practice, but when your example is not good the whole thing sort of falls apart. Will someone speak up? No one knows because it might be a team FULL OF MUTES. Running back Robert Elliott (24 carries, 92 yards in three games) admits he's not a rah-rah kind of guy, but is willing to take on the role. But let's be honest, no one is going to listen to Robert Elliott.
INFLUENCE ON BET: Potentially significant. If no one can tell Dan Mullen to stop throwing the ball, how will they stop throwing the ball?
Ole Miss is not pointing fingers, but they're probably making faces behind one another's backs
It's a delicate situation in Oxford right now. Most players are still toeing the company line, but there are cracks throughout this foundation of porcelain. Safety Fon Ingram met a reporter's question about the secondary's chemistry with "awkward silence" before saying something about leading by example blah blah blah. To be fair, it's hard to have good chemistry when you are so soul-numbingly awful at just about every aspect of defensive football (strangely enough, they have managed to shut down the deep ball, but I'll attribute that to the gashing runs and sustained drives they so readily give up). After Saturday's loss to Fresno State, whether the rest of the team falls apart will depend on how soundly they are beaten. Be gentle, Pat Hill.
INFLUENCE ON BET: None. You should know better than to bet on Ole Miss.
Urban Meyer wishes John Brantley wasn't John Brantley
Meyer wants his quarterback to be a 200+ yard passer (172 is his high this season) and is looking for more production out of his offense as a whole. No quarterback change is in the near future, most likely because there is no one else, but his lack of satisfaction in Brantley should be noted and monitored. As should that same lack of satisfaction in Steve Addazio.
INFLUENCE ON BET: None. A savvy better knows Florida is as safe as glowing uranium.
Derek Dooley has no time for your silly medical diagnosis
Instead, he's got to find enough healthy bodies for his starting offensive line. Due to injuries he can't remember, nay, DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO REMEMBER, Dooley will most likely play three freshmen this week on the offensive line. This will not effect offensive production because there was none to begin with.
INFLUENCE ON BET: Significant. But not because of the injured linemen. Anything over +17 for UAB needs to be carefully digested.
Georgia president Michael Adams is unhappy about the arrest of his school's athletes
Adams recently let the athletic department know that all of these arrests have got to stop. And he did so while eyeballing the football team the whole time. Short of college kids making better decisions (IMPOSSIBLE) and finding administrators that don't ride around with panties not belonging to their wife between their legs, he best hope those players and administrators get better at not getting caught.
INFLUENCE ON BET: Much like Florida, an arrest of a Georgia player is always imminent. Perform daily checks of the Athens police blotter.