Thursday, September 02, 2010
Steve Spurrier, momentarily not disappointed in Stephen Garcia
After eight full months dedicated to physical and, more importantly, emotional recovery, we've arrived at the start of four months of living that will savagely destroy that recovery. But if you ask me, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO LIVE. Does it take years off my life? No doubt about it. But it lets me know I CAN feel something. Otherwise, I'd have to get into some really weird, messed up stuff like giving bologna sandwiches to homeless people so they'll fight one another with tire irons. Or even bring Surviving the Game to life. But not as classy as they had it because I don't have that kind of money. But I'm pretty sure Ice-T wouldn't survive in my version.
Uh, anyway, The Belly of the Beast does not condone those activities. Moving on.
Last year, I normally did my picks of the week (which are 1,000 words of riveting prose) on Thursday, but this year I'm changing that up. During the 2010 season, you will find them on Friday and on Thursday, well, that's sort of a work in progress, which could very well be the tag line for this blog. Today, we'll be looking at tonight's South Carolina/Southern Miss game in some sort of interesting fashion (allegedly). But first, a few items of interest. If you're looking for college pick'em, NFL pick'em and NFL Survival leagues, you've found the right place. The Belly of the Beast has groups created on Yahoo and you can find all the information you need to sign up below (College league will pick AP Top 25 and SEC games). All winners will be encouraged to give themselves $20 for their triumphs.
*ALL PASSWORDS ARE "STEVENSEAGAL"
Since it's been two weeks of numbers, let's keep the magic going and honor Stephen Garcia, wearer of number five and general slacker, with five things I will think about at work that will also cause me to not do work.
1. How soon into quarter one, and therefore quarter one of 2010, will Steve Spurrier regret the day an assistant coach told him about a high school quarterback named Stephen Garcia?
Surely this thought can't come any later than the second series, right? He's already declared that back-up (and possible starter) Connor Shaw will play, which means the leash on and tolerance of Garcia can't be much longer than South Carolina's bowl history. As all Thursday night South Carolina games do, this one has the makings of a miserable offensive showcase for all parties involved. And that notion opens the door for a Garcia-Shaw-Garcia-Garcia-Shaw-Garcia-Shaw-Garcia-PersonStandingNexttoSpurrier rotation.
2. Is it too much to ask to have Spurrier miked up for the game? Imagine 60 minutes of this (but with more anger, cursing and hate-smirking).
3. Will Southern Miss have one or more players who you remember three weeks from now?
I say yes, and only because you will recall "that game that South Carolina won something like 13-9 and the other team's wide receiver was pretty good." His name is DeAndre Brown.
4. Will "Boys of Fall" be as soul-numbingly horrible as I have made it out to be?
2 BILLION PERCENT YES.
5. Who's staying up to pull for Hawaii?
I have a feeling ESPN's ratings in the state of Tennessee for at least the first half will be unprecedentedly high. Although probably finishing a slight second behind last Saturday morning's rerun of a 1989 episode of Bill Dance Outdoors. I'm pretty sure Hawaii stinks, but all I'm asking of you, Warriors (or Rainbow Warriors? Didn't they drop that? I think so.) is a reason to stay up until 1:30 in the morning. And this is coming from a guy who currently has the TV on a replay of the United States/Iran basketball game that was played at 11 o'clock Wednesday morning. SO IT WON'T TAKE MUCH.
Posted by Gray at 12:27 AM