Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Auburn Hands Out Championship Rings and More

Yesterday, on the information superhighway (is that terms still relevant?), pictures appeared of Auburn's championship rings from last football season's triumphs came into the light.  There were three rings total because, as Auburn's recruiting strategy says, three is always better than one.



Not pictured were other various gifts and rewards for a job well done, mainly because the NCAA frowns upon such a thing, but, again, as Auburn's recruiting strategy says, what they don't know can't hurt them (or us). Some of the additional gifts are pictured here:


Scepter
No king can rule without a shiny, valuable stick to point at someone to show how much better they are than them.


Golden crown
And no king is complete without a crown. This is just how it works. I've seen the movies.


A pair of mules
While always pretending to be a sophisticated lot, Auburn is an agricultural school. These will come in handy when the school eventually loses its SACS accreditation, which should happen right around the time someone gets to the bottom of the Cam Newton scandal in 2046.


Dodge Charger
Wait...hold on. I'm terribly sorry, I've mixed up my Ohio State files with the Auburn ones. Moving on...


Briefcase full of cash money
Now that's more like it. A much more familiar feeling for Auburn.


Bingo cards


Bingo markers


Greyhound
All to be used during a trip to prominent Auburn booster, and bingo parlor and dog track baron, Milton McGregor's places of business. Assuming he doesn't get sent to federal prison.


An evening with Pat Dye
Players must supply booze, fishing gear, and possibly pants for Pat.


Towels with flakes of gold
Sorry, players. These are for Trooper Taylor only.

1 comment:


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