The NCAA Says, "Watch This!"

After making up the rules as they go along, the NCAA officially denied Jeremiah Masoli's waiver request to play football in 2010.  Citing Self-Righteous Bullshit Rule 2(a) 1.349, the NCAA declared that Masoli's case was "contrary to the intent of the waiver" that normally allows student-athletes to transfer for purposes of graduate studies without sitting out a year in athletics.  When pressed on the meaning of "the intent of the waiver," the governing body of major college athletics cited Imaginary Rule Written in Invisible Ink 3(c) 2.739, which clearly states, "We can do what we want when we want and make the rule fit what we believe should be done, ignoring the way the rule is actually written.  This allows us to rule with total authority and cover our asses for a stupid rule we previously wrote."


Former Syracuse quarterback and former Duke point guard Greg Paulus, a successful user of this waiver, declined full comment, but did mention that he wished he "could have seen Syracuse in the spring. I've heard it's beautiful when the snow melts."


Former 2010 Ole Miss guard and current 2010 Seton Hall guard Eniel Polynice, another successful user of the waiver, could not be reached for comment. Probably because he was at basketball practice, preparing for the 2010 season.