Everyone scrimmaged and everyone still has "things we need to work on"
Let's plow through these like Udonis Haslem through the hippie lettuce.
-Vanderbilt completed yet another scrimmage with just a single offensive touchdown. I'll need to check my files, but I believe that record now dates back to 1937. Head coach Robbie Caldwell said the scrimmage was set up to involve more of the younger players, or better known as players that have to be better than the veterans if they want to avoid 0-12.
-Kentucky produced more offense than Vanderbilt, but as far as I can tell, no record of that exists. No stats, no scores. We did learn that pre-season candidate for the 2010 Awww-Shit Trophy, Mike Hartline, has not fully secured the starting quarterback job yet. Morgan Newton and Ryan Massokowski refuse to go away in this royal rumble of mediocrity. According to Joker Phillips:
"They all were productive; they had a couple of blunders by all three of the quarterbacks," Phillips said. "The thing we're trying to eliminate is that blunder. You can't have a blunder at the quarterback position."If that's the case, good sir, I suggest you find a fourth candidate.
-Georgia saw its defense dominate and Aaron Murray throw a long pass to last year's back-up quarterback. The Bulldogs' offensive line was missing three starters, which helps one understand why the defense did dominate. That and Aaron Murray is playing quarterback and throwing passes to a former back-up quarterback.
-Ole Miss hasn't quite handed the reins to Jeremiah Masoli yet, but we're probably nearing that day. Masoli showcased his athletic ability on the opening drive of the scrimmage and eventually threw a touchdown pass to end the drive, but he's not the starter yet. According to Houston Nutt:
“I thought all three quarterbacks looked good," Nutt said. "They all do things a little different, but they all do things well. Nathan had a good read tonight and threw the ball well. Jeremiah gives you that ability to escape and can throw a 40-yard bullet. It wasn't Mackey’s best night, but he has been really accurate. I’m excited about our quarterback situation.”Nutt also said that if the season started today, Stanley would get the crazy finger point. And some good news for Ole Miss fans, highly touted/recruited/internetworshiped running back Enrique Davis has apparently come out of the witness protection program and is having himself some fine pre-season practices. He had a 56-yard touchdown run on Saturday and, by all accounts of those watching practices, has looked just as good in the first week of practice.
-The year will be 4039 and South Carolina will still not be able to protect its quarterback or have a sliver of a running game. Spurrier was not particularly happy with the results of the scrimmage, most notably Stephen Garcia getting sacked five times in 15 attempts.
"We had one of our typical scrimmages I guess," said head coach Steve Spurrier following the workout. "We scored a few touchdowns here and there but there was sloppy play - jumping offsides, don't snap the ball at the right time, pass protection was not very good. The defense did ok, but neither side did very good to tell you the truth. Neither side did anything spectacular. The receivers caught about everything," the Head Ball Coach continued. "There were some good catches and throws but I think Stephen Garcia got sacked about five times out of 15 attempts. Connor (Shaw) and (Andrew) Clifford got sacked once or twice so that wasn't very good. There were some good plays here and there, but there should have been more. The receivers ran good routes and we have a bunch of guys open but we couldn't get the ball up in the air as often as we should."-Arkansas' offense, well, you already know. Insert something about multiple yards and touchdowns here. The one unexpected note was the arrival of the defense for the second half of the scrimmage (Note: they were actually on the field for the first half). Bobby Petrino seemed pleased with how hard the defense played and surprised they made plays at all THOSE LITTLE SHIT BASTARDS.
-Tennessee's scrimmage was closed, so this entire thing could be made up. Especially the parts about offensive success.
-Dammit, this is taking forever. Florida.
-Auburn's scrimmage was also closed so I will close this space to them. TAKE THAT GENE CHIZIK.
-Alabama threw for the Alabama equivalent of 2.1 million yards in their scrimmage, much to the delight of Nick Saban, who got a chance to send a you-will-burn-in-the-hottest-fires-of-hell message to his defense, which is all he really lives to do.
"I don't think defensively, as a whole, that we played very well at all," Saban said. "We didn't tackle. We didn't finish. We didn't clean up tackles and knock runners back. We didn't have the eye of the tiger we need to be a good defensive team, and that's all 11 of them."There were some injuries to Alabama's secondary, but Nick Saban has no patience for the failure of body parts to endure a football scrimmage.
An interesting piece on Jeremiah Masoli that involves no defense of Pete Carroll
And it comes in all the way from Oregon. Also, if you read this piece (and you should....don't be lazy), the writer discusses James Meredith's enrollment at Ole Miss and the ensuing riot. Growing up in Jackson, I used to see Meredith at the grocery store. It took a long time before I realized this man of such epic historical importance (at least in Mississippi) looks just as confused and unhappy as I do when wandering around a grocery store.
Mike Leach will still find a way to make our lives better
He's been hired by CBS to work for the CBS College Sports Network. I have no idea what channel that is, or if I even get it, but this is good news. Nothing against Rich Gannon...actually, Rich Gannon sucks, so for the two or three times a year CBS gives us an 11 AM game, we need Mike Leach. And if you, CBS, can figure out a way to get rid of Craig Bolerjack as well, I would be in your debt.
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