What Didn't Happen Over the Weekend

United States hockey team sends Canada into anarchy and a rage that makes them pronounce "about" correctly.
Well, there probably was a smattering anarchy throughout the country after Canada won Sunday's gold medal game in overtime. I mean, we all know about those crazy bastards in Prince Edward Island. You just know mayhem ruled the evening there. Luckily, here in America, the only incidents that occurred were a few emotional bruises after the Team USA bandwagon jackknifed just before the finish line. I count myself as one of those slightly injured as there's nothing like international competition in a watchable sport to get me on the bandwagon. After all, who doesn't enjoy a Friday afternoon in which it's socially acceptable to hate Finland (Note: It's always acceptable to hate France.)?

Former Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead continues his 2009 stinkbomb at the NFL combine.
With no pass rush and no defenses to read, Snead managed to bump up the value of his draft stock. According to a few reports I read, he displayed solid footwork and nice accuracy throwing the deep ball, which, if you follow Ole Miss, has to be a misprint. A Jevan Snead overthrow of a wide open receiver forty yards down the field was about as sure death, taxes, DeAundre Cranston fouling out of a basketball game and Lane Kiffin smiling at himself in the mirror repeatedly.

Dexter McCluster's speed unleashes shock and awe among NFL people.
While he fell just short of the 3.85 seconds I had in the pool (actually ran a 4.58), he did manage impress scouts and the like with his time in the 20-yard shuttle, which is usually an indicator of quickness. I also find these to be pretty good indicators of quickness, since real players are involved and not fluorescent cones:





Michael Jordan buys Bobcats, will remain casually involved.
He really did become a majority owner of the Bobcats (which is an actual NBA team and not one of the NHL's 47 teams) and immediately set out to show that he can still play as he challenged one of Charlotte's talent-challenged guards, Gerald Henderson, to a game of H-O-R-S-E. Henderson won after a shaky start, proving to Jordan that he should not attempt another comeback and that he needed to get better players than Gerald Henderson.