Monday, February 01, 2010

What Didn't Happen Over the Weekend

Ole Miss protects home court; punishes mediocre Arkansas team.
At least it seemed fairly likely to happen. After winning back-to-back SEC road games for the first time since Rod Barnes was unknowingly and slowly laying the groundwork for four straight seasons of no more than four conference wins, the Rebels came tumbling down from the top of the gently rising hill that is the SEC West. Outsized, due to foul trouble and the loss of Reginald Bucker, and outshot due to, well, bad shots and an inability to score at the rim, the Rebels now find themselves in serious and most certain danger of being .500 at the halfway point of conference play. Currently at 4-3 in the SEC, Ole Miss plays at Kentucky on Tuesday night and faces the strong possibility of getting run out of the gym. Or as head coach Andy Kennedy put it after the game, letting "Kentucky name their score."

Without Buckner (out at least another week with a sprained ankle), the Rebels are hopeless in the post. And given that Kentucky's DeMarcus Cousins and Patrick Patterson are next up, things could turn ugly. Standing in their way of scoring a combined 60 points and grabbing 30 rebounds are DeAundre Crantston, a less athletic version of Dwayne Curtis (which is almost hard to imagine), Terrance Henry (while tall, not a true post player) and Murphy Holloway (very athletic and strong, but terribly undersized). And that's assuming these guys don't foul out (Cranston most certainly will; it took him all of 13 minutes to do so last night, which didn't even break his record of eight minutes to foul out against Mississippi State), which would lead the way to Zach Graham moving down low as he did against Arkansas, and we know how that turned out. So if you enjoy brutal, physical domination in the arena of sport, I invite you to watch Tuesday night as Cousins and Patterson pillage and burn the Ole Miss post.

No other SEC basketball games were played.
While they did not appear on my television, I'm sure they were marginally enjoyable games to watch. I can only assume that some teams won and others lost.

Rex Ryan of the New York Jets enjoys a healthy, quiet night at home.
Well, I'm sure that was the plan anyway. Ryan is taking heat for flipping off a Miami Dolphins fan at a mixed martial arts event on Saturday night as shown in pictorial form here. I'm sure this was just a knee-jerk reaction to Rex being lied to about the location of a buffet of bear claws and meatballs, as he tends to get a little surly when he falls short of his 7,000 calorie a day diet. After eventually sniffing out the location and then punishing the buffet, he later told the crowd that his Jets were going to wreck the Dolphins' shit next year. Or something close to that.

The Pro Bowl holds the sports world hostage for a few hours.
If the Pro Bowl were to actually try to hold someone hostage, I think they'd be about as successful as me. First, subduing the hostage would be an enormous challenge. I don't know any CTU or Seagal moves, so unless I had a gun, it probably wouldn't work. And second, tying the hostage up. I don't know any good knots other than a square knot, so I think it be pretty easy to wiggle free with a little determined effort. Plus, and more importantly, I don't own any rope, so that's sort of a problem right there. So in review, the Pro Bowl is not and will never be a good kidnapper.

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