There's no better way to celebrate America than turning things over to Lee Greenwood at the Grand Ole Opry, while wearing an American flag black leather jacket he stole from Gene Chizik's closet.
GET YOUR ASSES UP AND SING ALONG.
Need something a little more emotional? Try some classic Greenwood.
/runs through brick wall
/waves imaginary 15-foot American flag
/gets bald eagle tattoo across entire back
And finally, RAW AMERICAN MILITARY AWESOMENESS, shown through a computer simulation, set to Lee Greenwood.
I'm exhausted. Take us home, Whitney.
Enjoy the long weekend, and remember, those stories about Roman candles blowing up in people's hands are all LIES.