Dan Mullen Would Like to Beat You Senseless With a Cowbell

However, he's willing to forgo that beating if you just buy tickets.  But, Gray, season tickets are sold out.  What now?  Well, I suggest you get ready to take your beating.  It appears the only last effects from such a beating are concussion, memory loss, mental and emotional distress and anguish, depression, paranoia, anxiety, loss of enjoyment of life and inability to pursue prior educational and professional goals.

The good news is that at least you won't remember most of it.

Wait, hold on.  What's that?  I should continue reading the article about season tickets being sold out?  Ah, I see.  Yes, there it is.  Three-game packages still remain, and go on sale July 18th.  So, you know, get in line, unless you want stone-faced Dan Mullen beating down your door, followed by you.

Vidya source