Around the SEC: What Didn't Happen Over the Weekend

Mark Richt dismissed his entire second team defense.
I'm sure that day is coming soon, but for now he's only told one of them not to come back to Athens. Linebacker Montez Robinson was booted from the team for an assortment of dumb decisions followed by even dumber actions. Look for him in 2011 at an SEC school near you.

Derek Dooley smiled, gave an insightful interview.
In Dooley's defense, his top three quarterbacks, the esteemed Nick Stephens, Matt Simms and Tyler Bray, were a combined 17 of 42 in the Vols' first scrimmage (Bray was a Brent Schaeffer-like 6 of 20).

Bobby Petrino followed through on a commitment to go to the grocery store.
He needed some Diet Coke, but elected to go with the Coke Zero at the gas station just down the street.

Houston Nutt declared the Wild Rebel to be the Rebels' base offense in the fall.
From the reports I've read, punting may be the most valuable offensive weapon. Granted it's only a few practices into the spring, but words that describe the offensive line include "overwhelmed," "struggling" and "12 million miles away from being average." A leaky or, perhaps more accurately, collapsed levee offensive line is not the best situation for breaking in a new quarterback.

Gene Chizik refrained from pacing non-stop between the 35-yard lines at Jordan-Hare Stadium.
Even Chizik is using spring practice to wear a groove in the grass that will be nice and flat come August.

Orlando Sentinel kicked Urban Meyer off Page One of the sports section, citing his remarks about the copy editor's nephew.
Urban Meyer is probably pulling for Duke. LET'S GO BUTLER!!! NO ONE WITH A SOUL WANTS TO SEE DUKE WIN.

Dan Mullen, seeking a three-way quarterback battle with no real winner, spoke with Tyson Lee about applying for a sixth year of eligibility.
If Tyler Russell doesn't win the starting job, can we begin to question whether he'll ever play significant downs in Starkville? Chris Relf is a nice athlete, but let us remember he that is awful. And yes, I say that with his performance against Ole Miss still on my mind. A game like that won't happen again. Until November 2010.

Bobby Johnson thought he had fun.
After further review, he decided that "fun" was a little strong and downgraded his weekend to "nice."

Steve Spurrier broke down the spring film of all his quarterbacks in an effort to determine the depth chart for fall practice.
So does Spurrier have to call someone at Augusta to get tickets this weekend? Or does he already have tickets? Or does the act of watching someone else play golf bring him as much pain and anguish as watching someone else play quarterback for his team?

Joker Phillips admitted that his favorite playing card is actually the nine of hearts.
I don't know about Joker, but I have a suspicion that Rich Brooks is a hell of a Gin player.

In order to help deaf football fans understand Les Miles' "YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" scream, LSU hired a signer to follow him on the sidelines of games and be present at all press conferences.
Actually, this is an awesome idea.

Nick Saban went out of his way to get annoyed with someone else's shortcomings so that he could truly enjoy his Easter Sunday.
I think this one has a pretty decent chance of being true. If he's not correcting failures, he's not happy.