Monday, January 25, 2010

What Didn't Happen Over the Weekend

Urban Meyer looks forward to relaxing by the pool with his family this spring.
After taking off "a day and a half," Meyer found that spending some time with the family and generally doing nothing "didn't work." Now, just 24 days after momentarily exciting his family with his taking-a-break talk, he announced that he is back at work (although traveling less during this recruiting season) and will coach the team during spring practice. So, does his family just annoy the hell out of him or something? Potential death or rest? POTENTIAL DEATH or rest? Potential death or REST? Build yourself a man cave if the Mrs. and the family start closing in. Although, I suppose I should not question nor offer advice to the man who stunned the college football world with his revolutionary desire to have the fastest team in America.

The Winter Olympics.
Although they could have. If they were pushed for time, they could probably even knock out the entire thing on a Tuesday afternoon. Instead, NBC chooses to drag out this worldly convention for white people over two weeks. This, of course, deprives the country of some hit NBC programming such as Chuck, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU and Law & Order Hobo Misdemeanors (For those of you unfamiliar with NBC, the Law & Order series is NBC's version of CSI on CBS. Much like there's a CSI for every major to mid-major city, there's a Law & Order for almost every crime. And if you're wondering, Law & Order Mayhem starts in May.). And life without these shows will outrage the 114 people still watching NBC now that the Leno/Conan uproar has ended. Personally, I don't care. I just can't wait to see the 30-km freestyle race in cross country skiing. Those damn Norwegians and their smugness. I hope Austria teaches them a lesson in humility in Vancouver.

Brett Favre plays responsible football on the way to a Vikings' NFC Championship win.
Let's see, 2 picks and one fumble inside the Saints' 10. Sounds like a Brett Favre performance that will be hailed as gutsy and a guy looking to always make a play. Oh, and don't forget, he was just having fun out there. Like a kid on the playground (I think I've covered all the usual excuses). It was a typical Favre performance though. He made some great throws while taking some unbelievably stupid chances, the last of which cost his team a chance to win. Personally, I would love for the last throw of his career to be an interception for two reasons. One, I don't like him. Never have. I think he's one of the most selfish people to ever play sports and his aww-shucks/buddy-buddy relationship with the media (which he masterfully crafted) has kept him from being properly hammered for all the dumb things he has done on the football field. If he's praised for his recklessness when it works, then he must be called out when it doesn't. And two, while he has been a good quarterback throughout his NFL career, the image burned into our collective minds when recalling him will be a pass that even Tarvaris Jackson (his backup) knew not to throw. Ah, sweet justice.

The New Orleans Saints crush the souls of its fans in yet another bout of failure.
The New Orleans Saints are in the Super Bowl. The New Orleans Saints............are in the Super Bowl. In my lifetime, I assumed that the only time I'd ever hear that sentence was a friend telling me about a season he was playing in one of the Madden video games. Seriously, even if you are a Saints fan you had to believe this would never happen, right? It's a franchise that has, in my lifetime, trotted out two guys named Billy Joe, Bobby Hebert, Jeff Blake, Aaron Brooks, WADE WILSON and someone named Todd Bouman at quarterback. And if I took the time, the list could be filled with at least 10 more Bill Joe Hoberts and Tollivers. I'm not a Saints fan, so, for me, this is most certainly their "Ate a whole wheel of cheese and pooped in the refrigerator" moment. Enjoy it while it lasts, you former Clippers of the NFL.

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