The Final Countdown: 10

Unlike Europe’s Final Countdown, the countdown going on here is actually marking the time until something happens. We’ve reached number 10, which means it’s now 10 days away from the start of college football. I plan to spend my next 10 days soaking in the last few moments of 2009 that I care about the Atlanta Braves’ season. Sure, it will be horribly uncompelling, but it’s something to pass the time while waiting for football and television pumps out all of the remaining summer reruns and crap.

And staying in the uncompelling neighborhood, number 10 on the countdown brings out the 10 games in the SEC that promise to be the least compelling and rich.

September 12
Vanderbilt at LSU
I tried to think of any memory I might have of LSU and Vanderbilt playing and came up with absolutely nothing. Then, just as I started to type the next sentence, I vaguely remembered a game a few years back when JaMarcus Russell played at LSU (maybe). I know LSU won, but couldn’t recall if they destroyed Vandy or slipped by. I suppose I could have looked it up, but let’s be serious, I’m not that interested. Neither are you. I’d have to check, but this very well could be the second time these teams have ever played.

September 19
Mississippi State at Vanderbilt
This game has 11:30 written all over it.

September 26
Florida at Kentucky
Actually, this one might be mildly compelling just to see if the Gators leave Lexington in the same shape Ghengis Khan left many an enemy town back in the day. If you remember, Florida absolutely eviscerated the Wildcats last year in The Swamp, and I don’t foresee much improvement for Kentucky.

October 3
Auburn at Tennessee
Remember this thriller from last year? What was it, like 13-6 or something like that? Easily one of the worst football games I’ve ever watched. And good news, Chris Todd and Jonathan Crompton are back!

October 10
Kentucky at South Carolina
The SEC East is really filled with some exciting matchups this year. Someone remind me that when it comes time to pick this game, Spurrier is either undefeated or has just one loss against Kentucky. Ever.

October 17
Kentucky at Auburn
Another 11:30 game fully deserving of its time slot.

October 24
Vanderbilt at South Carolina
The 2009 SEC East schedule!!!

November 7
Vanderbilt at Florida
I think we’ll see a repeat of Kentucky’s disastrous visit to Gainesville from last year in this game. Except with more destruction and humiliation (if possible).

November 14
Kentucky at Vanderbilt
The battle for fifth and sixth place. Or if Tennessee is extra bad this year, we could be watching a battle for a tie for fifth place, and of course the obligatory sixth place finish. Also, both schools make five appearances in this list.

November 28
Tennessee at Kentucky
And the tiebreaker just two weeks later!

(Note: My apologies for skipping 12 and 11. I was out of town and limited Internet access kept me from making any sort of post. I know you were devastated.)