SEC Picks for the Weekend

First, is it possible to put a numerical value on Steve Spurrier's frustration level? If it were a percentage, would it be in quadruple digits? Or the infinity symbol? Can I open this post with another question?

Through two games, Spurrier has played two quarterbacks who have tag-teamed their way to six interceptions and a countless number of visor tugs by Spurrier. Toss in a crappy offensive line, a defense that couldn't get off the field against Vandy, and a special teams meltdown of epic proportions last night, the Gamecocks now look like a team with a lot of problems and a coach who might set a new record for smiles that really mean "I want to kill you." For more on the debacle, courtesy of EDSBS, here's a South Carolina fan's take on last night.

I'm still not buying into Vandy. They'll be 4-8 or 5-7, mark it down. South Carolina just violated my rule that when a team plays Vandy they don't have to play great, just don't do anything dumb. Two picks, a blocked field goal, a missed field goal, and a punt off the leg of a blocker falls into the dumb category. On to the picks....

Tulane at Alabama
I read that Tulane spent the week practicing in Birmingham using UAB's facilities. Whenever UAB is involved, even in the slightest way, bad things result for those touched by the Blazers. My only concern is if Alabama will cover at -30.

Former Directional School at Arkansas
I normally wouldn't say anything here, but after last week's come-from-behind win over a directional school, the Hogs aren't a sure thing here. I'll go with another shaky win for Arkansas.

Southern Miss at Auburn
This one could be interesting. USM put up a ton of offense last week, granted it was against former directional school but that's what you're supposed to do against those teams, and we found out Auburn has a one-dimensional offense. I can see Southern Miss hanging around, but Auburn's defense should erase the shortcomings of the Kodi Burns and Chris Todd Experience. Auburn wins and doesn't cover.

Miami at Florida
What happened to Miami? Weren't they playing in a national championship game like seven years ago? I'm guessing they caught the David Cutcliffe Lethargy Flu, which is known to have devastating effects on recruiting and your program as a whole. There was a nasty bit of that going around in the early 2000s. Florida rolls.

Directional School at Georgia
Blah.

Norfolk State at Kentucky
Where is Norfolk State? Seriously. I would look it up, but I'm extremely busy and important.

Ole Miss at Wake Forest
The Rebels will need some turnovers from Wake and zero turnovers on their part. And about 9 inches of rain from the tropical storm. If the Ole Miss defense had played well last week, then maybe I would consider another glass of kool-aid, but I don't like this defense at all. Wake wins.

Directional School at Mississippi State
There's a chance that if Croom throws more than he runs, the 34,000 State fans in attendance will burn the stadium down. State wins.