Picks for the Weekend

Made while watching Mike Teel show the world that he does in fact stink....

Overall record: 8-0

Western Kentucky at Alabama
I was unaware the Hilltoppers were a I-A independent school. I assumed they were in the Sun Belt, which, according to my assumptions, has something close to 23 teams in the conference. The only thing I'll be looking for in this game is to see if John Parker Wilson talked with Rush Probst this week to try to correct his wildly inconsistent performances. My theory is that only the man from Ohatchie knows how to solve Wilson's problems.

Arkansas at Texas
Enough hurricanes already.

Auburn at Mississippi State
If State sticks to the formula of running more than they throw, they'll keep the game close. But the minute they fall behind and decide it's time to let Wes Carroll air it out, we'll see a thirty-plus point loss. Even if they play conservatively, I just don't see how they can get a win, unless Auburn turns it over three or four times. I see an ugly, low-scoring but dominating Auburn win.

Georgia at South Carolina
Tommy Beecher! Chris Smelley! Rotating quarterbacks! Next on CBS! All signs point to Georgia adding to the Beecher/Smelley interception total, but I refuse to count out the Ball Coach when the media and everyone in the state of South Carolina is piling on him and his team. I think this will end up being a pretty close game, but let's be honest, it's Tommy Beecher and Chris Smelley. Georgia wins.

MTSU at Kentucky
Yeah......Kentucky.

North Texas at LSU
I assume North Texas is another Sun Belt team. See what I'm talking about? A conference of 23 teams.

Samford at Ole Miss
Another Baptist school. Finally, a win over a Baptist school.

UAB at Tennessee
Like State fans last week, Tennessee fans will burn the stadium down if the quarterback throws more than the team runs it.

Rice at Vanderbilt
Insert academic joke here, followed by canned announcer laughter. But more importantly, Vandy moves halfway to bowl eligibility in week three. Of course, they won't make a bowl, but it will give announcers a chance to talk about what a great job Bobby Johnson is doing and mention something about the SATs.