Tuesday, September 30, 2008

From the Weekend That Was

Ole Miss 31, Florida 30









Auburn 14, Tennessee 12
Yes, it was as glamorous as that score indicates. Watching this game gave me a slight sense of what it must feel like to slowly slip into a diabetic coma. The starting quarterbacks for the game:
Chris Todd: 14/23, 93 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Jonathan Crompton: 8/23, 67 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT

Luckily for sports fans, this game was virtually repeated 24 hours later when the Bengals and Browns locked horns. Final score there: Browns 20, Bengals 12.
Derek Anderson: 15/24, 138 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Ryan Fitzpatrick: 21/35, 156 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs

Texas 52, Arkansas 10
This game was pretty much a flashback to the year the Razorbacks went to Los Angeles to play USC. The clock started and then it was 31-3. Only this time, Arkansas managed to hold the Longhorns to 52 instead of 70.

The good news for Arkansas is Casey Dick threw no interceptions. Although from the looks of things, he didn't do anything positive either. The bad news: a most irritated Florida team comes to Fayetteville next.

Kentucky 41, Directional School 3
I'm sure Kentucky fans got their share of Back in Black. If you've been to Commonwealth Stadium, you know what I'm talking about.

South Carolina 26, UAB 13
Let's take time out to pour one out for the end of the Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher eras. It remains to be seen if Stephen Garcia can go more than four days without doing something to embarrass himself, his parents, and his school. Something inside me says that Garcia will eventually be arrested for mayhem.

LSU 34, Mississippi State 24
And now let's take another moment to pour one out for the end of the Wesley Carroll era. In related story, stocks in interceptions and incompletions hit record lows.

Alabama 41, Georgia 30
Not much to say here other than this was one of the more dominating wins I've ever seen between two alleged good teams in the SEC. As long as Alabama can effectively run the ball and keep John Parker Wilson from having to win the game, they'll keep on trucking. I think there will come a time later in the season when he'll have to make plays to win a game, but right now he's doing a great job of not screwing up the limited responsibility he's been given (Note: That's not a knock on him. He's doing exactly what he should be doing. Smart decisions and no killer mistakes.).

Also, no word if Georgia's next home game will involve a "Pink Out."

Friday, September 26, 2008

Weekend Picks

Last week: 5-2
Season: 21-2

Tennessee at Auburn
Is it just me or is this sort of a blah game? Tennessee stinks and Auburn isn't a fun team to watch. The people at CBS have to be kicking themselves for not picking Alabama/Georgia before the season started. In an extremely boring game featuring two bad offenses and one good defense, Auburn wins.

Arkansas at Texas
Let's hope Casey Dick throws to his team more than the other team. Do you think in last week's game against Alabama as he watched Casey Dick throw the ball all over the place, Bobby Petrino had flashbacks to standing on the Falcons' sideline watching Joey Harrington throw incompletions and interceptions?

Directional School at Kentucky
It's almost October and Kentucky has not played a conference game.

UAB at South Carolina
Wofford and UAB back-to-back and I doubt South Carolina gets any better. Can Steve Spurrier have one good quarterback at Carolina before he retires? Just one. We all need this.

Mississippi State at LSU
Paging Tyson Lee, paging Tyson Lee. If he doesn't play in this game, I think it's safe to assume he killed a guy with a trident. LSU wins, covers, and hits the over.

Alabama at Georgia
For Alabama to win, John Parker Wilson will have to finally make some plays, or more commonly known as throwing the ball to his team and not the ground or Georgia. I don't think Alabama will be able to run the ball with very much success, so the burden of the offense will fall on Wilson. If you're an Alabama fan, that can't be very comforting.

As a whole, I think Alabama is a little overrated. They're getting way too much credit for beating an average Clemson team. I don't think Georgia blows them out, but they'll win by double digits.

Ole Miss at Florida
If this is another close game and we lose, I'm not sure I can keep going. Take a look at this:

In the last five years, the Rebels have lost sixteen games by seven points or less. Sixteen!!! Really, I don't need this.

My prediction: Rob Park does something to lose the game (other than not being able to punt the ball over forty yards). Probably something along the lines of dropping a snap in the endzone and fumbling as he tries to pick up the ball and run. Florida will recover for a touchdown and we'll lose by two.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

From the Weekend That Was

Alabama 49, Arkansas 14
As expected, Alabama ran, ran, and then ran some more. Glen Coffee spent most of the game looking like Sherman ripping his way through Georgia. Only, unlike Sherman, Coffee went across the state, turned around, crossed again, and finally plowed his way through a third time. And it should also be pointed out that Coffee is not an all-world running back, but merely a serviceable back. It's going to be a brutally long year on defense for Arkansas. Well, let's be honest, it's going to be a long year for everyone in Arkansas.

LSU 26, Auburn 21
Easily the most exciting and enjoyable game of the weekend. I believe LSU found that Harvard transfer Andrew Hatch is no longer an option at quarterback. Even if he ever remembers his first name again after having his brain bounce off the top of his skull in the third quarter, Hatch wasn't showing anything special. Granted, he didn't do anything dumb like throw the biggest nancy boy pass in the world to an Auburn defensive lineman, but LSU's offense wasn't getting out of first gear with him in there.

I thought if Auburn had been able to run at all, they could have come away with the win. Instead, they were forced into the Chris Todd Show, which, while better than expected, is not a pleasant way to spend a Saturday if you're an Auburn fan.

One final thought, it's almost like Les Miles is taunting the sports gods with his completely reckless decision-making. Abandoning the running game for a chunk of the game so his redshirt freshman quarterback can throw it around some. Throwing the ball deep in Auburn territory when a field goal wins the game (like last year). As a fan of a school permanently abused by the sports gods, it's only a matter of time before the bell tolls for Les Miles.

Florida 30, Tennessee 6
Speaking of the bell tolling, it tolls for thee Phil Fulmer, it tolls for thee.

Georgia 27, Arizona State 10
Arizona State is now 3-26 against top 25 teams since 2000. 3-26. Yet another team that gets way too much publicity for beating no one.

Vanderbilt 23, Ole Miss 17
In the last two losses, Ole Miss has managed to lose on a last-second field goal and a fumble on the two yard line. This was a game that Ole Miss wins by three touchdowns if they don't commit six turnovers (could have been seven if not for Burnell Wallace stealing one from the Vandy DB). Instead, Vandy gimps its way to 200 yards of total offense (outgained by nearly 2 to 1) and takes the game.

Kudos to the Ole Miss defense for playing their best game of the season. Unfortunately, it was wasted by Jevan Snead, who decided to don the #19 jersey and play Seth Adams for four quarters. In his last eight quarters, Snead has thrown six interceptions. He's making a run at Seth Adams unprecedented performance of twelve interceptions in twelve quarters. Not good times.

Just when I thought we had left the days of bad to shaky quarterback play, we're right back in them. I know Snead has much more talent than his predecessors, but there's no way I can trust him the rest of the year. Just know that when he's sailing along in a game later this season, he still has the four interception game in his back pocket.

One more thing, I know my prediction of a blowout win blew up in my face, but I'll take another shot at one: Vandy will not make a bowl this year. A team that limited on offense can't keep this up. Living off turnovers and other teams saving their worst game of the year for Vandy don't get you to a bowl ga.....wait a minute. Vandy is this year's 2007 Mississippi State. Horrible offense, opportunistic defense, every stroke of good luck imaginable. I can't think of a good name for this syndrome right now, but something will come to me.

Georgia Tech 38, State 7
You're staying with Wesley Carroll, Coach Croom? Really? I know absolutely nothing about Tyson Lee, but surely he's at least a 1% improvement over Carroll. Unless Tyson Lee spends his weekdays going to nursing homes and pushing old people down, he has to be the starter or get the majority of the playing time against LSU. No excuse why he shouldn't.

South Carolina 23, Wofford 13
Okay, so maybe Spurrier did throw up on the sideline.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

And the Congregation Said, "Amen."

Johnny Brown finally sends Kendrick Lewis to the bench. Lewis isn't as bad as I make him out to be, but he's definitely the four volt Rascal to Brown's George Costanza Rascal.

*EDIT*
In between bumbling his way through a 30 hour work week and thinking of ways to run off Andy Kennedy, Ole Miss athletic director Pete Boone found time to finish writing a book. No, I'm not kidding. Amazingly, The Perfect Plan is not a guide on how to hire an inexperienced defensive line coach as your university's head coach, watch him win ten games in three years, and manage to keep your job.

Weekend Picks

Last Week: 8-0
Season: 16-0

Alabama at Arkansas
The last time he played in Fayetteville, John Parker Wilson had one of the best road games of his career (240 yards, 3TDs, 0 INTs). Unfortunately, the last Alabama kicker to play in Fayetteville missed three field goals (one in overtime) and an extra point (in overtime to lose the game). Of course, that was during the Mike Shula era, where such on-the-field action was not judged. If that happened in the Nick Saban era, the "f------ back-up kicker guy" would have been in after two misses or Saban would have elected to go for it on every fourth down.

As for this year's game, it will be interesting to see if Rush Probst talked to John Parker Wilson (do we have to call him John Parker all the time? Can we shorten that to JP or perhaps just John?) to help cure his recent troubles on the road (there were no actual plans for this to happen, just my theory being put out there). Barring any turnovers, I'm sure we'll see a steady diet of rushes from Alabama with the gameplan basically being don't do anything stupid and let's wait for Arkansas to play like Arkansas. After one SEC win, Alabama fans logically begin booking reservations in Atlanta.

LSU at Auburn
If you're an Auburn fan, you've got to hope your offense remembers last year's plays. While this year's offense is just awful, the good news for Auburn is that this is Andrew Hatch's, a Harvard transfer mind you, first real game. No idea how he'll react to facing a defense exponentially greater than any he's faced and doing so on the road. For that reason and the home team has won the last eight games in this series, I'm taking Auburn. And it's entirely possible Auburn could follow up a 3-2 win with a 6-3 or 7-6 win.

Florida at Tennessee
If Tennessee fails to remember that Jonathan Crompton stinks, we could see another 59-20-esque beatdown. There's no reason in the world he should throw more than 20 to 25 passes. None. Last time that happened (not counting UAB) they lost to a team that just got beat 59-0 by BYU.

How is it possible that Florida still hasn't developed a running back? Surely in the however many top classes Urban Meyer has hauled in, one would figure out how to play. Maybe it's the gimmicky offense, but they desperately need to find one. I like Florida in a relatively low-scoring game.

Georgia at Arizona State
I don't think this will be a blow-out, but I see Georgia winning easily. Lest you forget, Arizona State just lost to UNLV at home. My only question for this game is will Rudy Carpenter cry when he gets sacked for the fifth time.

Vanderbilt at Ole Miss
Huge game for both teams. If Vandy wins, they'll be in first place and 2-0 in the SEC East for the first time.......ever? For Ole Miss, this is a game they must win if they want to spend late December in Shreveport, Memphis, or Nashville (and who doesn't want to see Bossier City at that time of year?).

Bold prediction for the week: Not only does Ole Miss win, but they do so with ease. I don't think Vandy is very good, not that Ole Miss is early 90s Cowboys, but other than taking advantage of the next Chris Smelley interception, Vandy didn't really impress me. If you feature a white running back in the SEC, things can't keep going well. Throw in a relatively healthy Ole Miss defensive line (even without Hardy), Bobby Johnson's track record on the road, and a real Ole Miss offense, it has all the makings of a perfect storm cakewalk.

State at Georgia Tech
Answer me this: What were was exptected out of this year's offense when last year's offense ranked 11th in scoring, 12th in passing, 10th in rushing, and 12th in total offense in the conference? Not to mention the loss of two offensive linemen and the top wide receivers. Is anyone actually surprised State's offense is still horrible? And, how does a coordinator who directed last year's offense get a $75k raise? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

State's defense keeps it respectable, but Georgia Tech wins.

Wofford at South Carolina
First time in two weeks Spurrier may not throw up on the sideline.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

From the Weekend That Was

Coming to you from the island nation of St. Kitts, it's an abbreviated version of the weekend recap. Got to watch a few games over the weekend and, most enjoyably, watched the Ohio State/USC game surrounded by Ohio State fans, all of whom were wearing not just jerseys, but the Wal-Mart brand Ohio State jerseys. Getting a first hand look at their souls being broken was possibly the highlight of this trip. Most of them cleared out by halftime, presumably to stare blankly in a mirror for a few hours, but one brave or moronic guy, a face painter, stayed for the whole game, much to the delight of two USC fans who let him know how bad his team stinks. On to the recap....

-Speaking of Ohio State, they're done. I don't want to hear about them ever again until they beat someone not from Ohio or the Big Ten. I don't want to see them ranked, mentioned on TV, or any talk about how they're coming around after Terrell Pryor lights up Indiana. They are done. And if they're ranked to begin next season, voters in those polls should have their houses looted and burned.

-Why does Georgia always have so much trouble against South Carolina? They have superior talent and every year it's a brutal game for them. Coaching perhaps? I'll say it, Mark Richt is not the fantastic coach he's made out to be. Great recruiter and good coach, but when Steve Spurrier with Chris Smelley and the Mediocre All-Stars had every chance to win the game, he's not one of the best coaches in football. I say that not based on this one game, but over the past several years. Just thinking about last year and I immediately remember Vandy and Alabama. Two teams Georgia was better than and had to have Vandy miss a field goal to tie (maybe win, can't remember) at the end of regulation, and needed overtime to beat Alabama. Granted, they won the games, but one break the other way and Georgia was an eight win team with top five talent.

-At first, I thought the Auburn/State game was a turn-back-the-clock night. You know, playing the game with a cow bladder for a ball, nickel cokes, programs for a penny, and men wearing those flat straw hats. Turns out it was a collision of whatever Tony Franklin's offense is called and Sylvester Croom/Woody McCorvey's West Coast attack.

What an absolutely horrible game to watch. Did State backup quarterback Tyson Lee sell dead parakeets to blind children? Because why in the world did he not at least get a few series just to see if something would happen? Everyone with a pulse knew Wesley Carroll was firmly entrenched in neutral (and sometimes reverse). Very confusing.

And kudos to Coach Croom for the worst coaching decision of the young college football season. Fourth and fifteen near midfield, three minutes left, two timeouts left, an offense that HASN'T CONVERTED EVEN A THIRD DOWN ALL NIGHT, and an Auburn offense that is handing out fumbles like Thanksgiving meals at a soup kitchen. What does the coach of the year do? Yeah, how'd that work out?

Everyone should send ESPN/Raycom or whoever (whomever?) a thank you card for not putting the State/Georgia Tech game on TV this week. Croom's West Coast versus Paul Johnson's first year triple option offense. I haven't looked, but it would not surprise me if the over/under was set at 22.

-Anyone go to the Ole Miss game? From what I read, it looked like a lifeless performance. According to the stats, the defense played like they should against a I-AA team (or whatever the stupid new name is). This week's game is pretty much a must win if this team is going to win six games to get to a bowl.

That's it for now. I'll put up my picks on Thursday when I'm back in the USofA.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Picks for the Weekend

Made while watching Mike Teel show the world that he does in fact stink....

Overall record: 8-0

Western Kentucky at Alabama
I was unaware the Hilltoppers were a I-A independent school. I assumed they were in the Sun Belt, which, according to my assumptions, has something close to 23 teams in the conference. The only thing I'll be looking for in this game is to see if John Parker Wilson talked with Rush Probst this week to try to correct his wildly inconsistent performances. My theory is that only the man from Ohatchie knows how to solve Wilson's problems.

Arkansas at Texas
Enough hurricanes already.

Auburn at Mississippi State
If State sticks to the formula of running more than they throw, they'll keep the game close. But the minute they fall behind and decide it's time to let Wes Carroll air it out, we'll see a thirty-plus point loss. Even if they play conservatively, I just don't see how they can get a win, unless Auburn turns it over three or four times. I see an ugly, low-scoring but dominating Auburn win.

Georgia at South Carolina
Tommy Beecher! Chris Smelley! Rotating quarterbacks! Next on CBS! All signs point to Georgia adding to the Beecher/Smelley interception total, but I refuse to count out the Ball Coach when the media and everyone in the state of South Carolina is piling on him and his team. I think this will end up being a pretty close game, but let's be honest, it's Tommy Beecher and Chris Smelley. Georgia wins.

MTSU at Kentucky
Yeah......Kentucky.

North Texas at LSU
I assume North Texas is another Sun Belt team. See what I'm talking about? A conference of 23 teams.

Samford at Ole Miss
Another Baptist school. Finally, a win over a Baptist school.

UAB at Tennessee
Like State fans last week, Tennessee fans will burn the stadium down if the quarterback throws more than the team runs it.

Rice at Vanderbilt
Insert academic joke here, followed by canned announcer laughter. But more importantly, Vandy moves halfway to bowl eligibility in week three. Of course, they won't make a bowl, but it will give announcers a chance to talk about what a great job Bobby Johnson is doing and mention something about the SATs.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

From the Weekend That Was...

Alabama 20, Tulane 6
Welcome back to Earth, Alabama. John Parker Wilson remembered that he is John Parker Wilson and turned in a solid 11 of 23, 73 yard performance. Luckily for Alabama, the Georgia Dome hangover can last another week since the Western Kentucky (cue David Kellum voice...got it...) Hilltoppers!!! come to town on Saturday.

Arkansas 28, Former Directional School 27
Another directional school (or at least one-time directional school) and another fourth quarter rally by the Hogs. Bobby Petrino may be a jerk, but the man has some fourth quarter magic against these schools. No word yet on Petrino's resignation once the SEC schedule gets too tough.

Auburn 27, Southern Miss 13
So long Kodi Burns, we hardly knew ye. I watched the better part of this game and the few times Burns got in, he was horrible. Just horrible. Chris Todd, while not spectacular, didn't do anything stupid and was able to move the offense. If his running backs hadn't fumbled three times, this game would have been a blowout. Does anyone else find it funny that Auburn completely changed its offense and the new offense is probably just as boring to watch as the last one? It's sort of like someone being disgusted with their Ford Taurus and saying, "I need a change. What I need is a Chevy Malibu!"

Florida 26, Miami 3
Thank you Urban Myer for the tack-on field goal with 25 seconds left. There were honest, decent folks out there who needed a miracle cover by the Gators. You excited a group much larger than the Florida fanbase. Kudos to you, good sir.

Georgia 56, Central Michigan 17
Knowshon Moreno cures cancer, loves babies, walks on water, blah, blah, blah.

Kentucky 38, Norfolk State 3
Location for Norfolk State? Anyone?

Wake Forest 30, Ole Miss 28
After a violent hissy fit, I managed to calm down and put together some rational thoughts on this game:
-Doesn't matter who coaches, Shrimpboat, Joe Lee Dunn, or Houston Nutt, this sort of crap will never stop. I announced to the room with Ole Miss down 27-21 that we would lose by a field goal. No one believed me because they're morons. True Ole Miss fans can always sense evil on the horizon.
-I sensed a looming disaster when we didn't take advantage of a 14-10 lead in the third quarter. Two possessions with the lead ended in two turnovers. That can't happen with the shaky defense we have.
-"And Cassius Vaughn gets beat to the corner." Direct quote from the play-by-play guy after a Wake Forest touchdown pass. I have a feeling we'll hear that a lot this year.
-Here's to Kendrick Lewis for keeping the time-honored Ole Miss defender tradition of completely overrunning the play when he whizzed by Riley Skinner who casually stepped aside and threw a deep ball, earning a pass interference call on Marshay Green.
-As for the good, Jevan Snead is slowly helping dull the pain of the Ethan Flatt-Micheal Spurlock-Robert Lane-Seth Adams-Brent Schaeffer Experience. Hard to believe that an offense works when you have a competent, warm body lining up under center.
-One more thing, Shay Hodge is really, really good.

State 34, Directional School 10
46 rushes, 27 passes. Scott Field is not burned to the ground. All-in-all a good weekend for the Bulldogs.

From places outside the SEC...
-More airtime this week on ESPN: Chris Wells' foot or Tom Brady's knee? Regardless, I think Wells' foot and Brady's knee should get an apartment together.

-Vince Young may need some crazy pills. Look, I know your career quarterback rating is 68.3 and you've thrown 32 interceptions to just 22 touchdowns, but Vince, seriously, disappearing into the cornfield isn't a good option.

Friday, September 05, 2008

SEC Picks for the Weekend

First, is it possible to put a numerical value on Steve Spurrier's frustration level? If it were a percentage, would it be in quadruple digits? Or the infinity symbol? Can I open this post with another question?

Through two games, Spurrier has played two quarterbacks who have tag-teamed their way to six interceptions and a countless number of visor tugs by Spurrier. Toss in a crappy offensive line, a defense that couldn't get off the field against Vandy, and a special teams meltdown of epic proportions last night, the Gamecocks now look like a team with a lot of problems and a coach who might set a new record for smiles that really mean "I want to kill you." For more on the debacle, courtesy of EDSBS, here's a South Carolina fan's take on last night.

I'm still not buying into Vandy. They'll be 4-8 or 5-7, mark it down. South Carolina just violated my rule that when a team plays Vandy they don't have to play great, just don't do anything dumb. Two picks, a blocked field goal, a missed field goal, and a punt off the leg of a blocker falls into the dumb category. On to the picks....

Tulane at Alabama
I read that Tulane spent the week practicing in Birmingham using UAB's facilities. Whenever UAB is involved, even in the slightest way, bad things result for those touched by the Blazers. My only concern is if Alabama will cover at -30.

Former Directional School at Arkansas
I normally wouldn't say anything here, but after last week's come-from-behind win over a directional school, the Hogs aren't a sure thing here. I'll go with another shaky win for Arkansas.

Southern Miss at Auburn
This one could be interesting. USM put up a ton of offense last week, granted it was against former directional school but that's what you're supposed to do against those teams, and we found out Auburn has a one-dimensional offense. I can see Southern Miss hanging around, but Auburn's defense should erase the shortcomings of the Kodi Burns and Chris Todd Experience. Auburn wins and doesn't cover.

Miami at Florida
What happened to Miami? Weren't they playing in a national championship game like seven years ago? I'm guessing they caught the David Cutcliffe Lethargy Flu, which is known to have devastating effects on recruiting and your program as a whole. There was a nasty bit of that going around in the early 2000s. Florida rolls.

Directional School at Georgia
Blah.

Norfolk State at Kentucky
Where is Norfolk State? Seriously. I would look it up, but I'm extremely busy and important.

Ole Miss at Wake Forest
The Rebels will need some turnovers from Wake and zero turnovers on their part. And about 9 inches of rain from the tropical storm. If the Ole Miss defense had played well last week, then maybe I would consider another glass of kool-aid, but I don't like this defense at all. Wake wins.

Directional School at Mississippi State
There's a chance that if Croom throws more than he runs, the 34,000 State fans in attendance will burn the stadium down. State wins.

Monday, September 01, 2008

From the Weekend That Was

Didn't get a chance to watch that many games, but from what I did see and read.....

Vandy 34, Miami (OH) 13
Really? Vandy went on the road and smashed anyone? Cue the Thursday night pregame buffoonery when Mark May/Lou Holtz debate whether this is the year Bobby Johnson turns things around. In a related story, Dr. Lou takes a call from a speech pathologist.


South Carolina 34, NC State 0
The first of several disasters for the ACC. To be fair, NC State was actually competitive until their starting quarterback got hurt. Then, Daniel Evans came in for the Wolfpack and Tommy Beecher went out of the game for Carolina. Evans started throwing incompletions and interceptions while Chris Smelley started throwing touchdowns. So grab a clipboard Tommy Beecher and don't screw up charting any plays for the rest of the year.

LSU 41, Appalachian State 13
ESPN kept mentioning how the atmosphere was subdued and LSU fans probably weren't as "fired up" for a 10 am kickoff as they would have been for a night game. Miles and I talked about it and decided that LSU fans could get just as drunk for a 10 am game as they could a 7 pm game. They'd either wake up earlier or drink faster. A resourceful group of people those LSU fans.

Florida 56, Hawaii 10
The beginning of the end for the Daves Network. Buzz Baker, the professional that he is, got drenched from a pregame rain, but by the time the first coach's interview took place, he was wearing a fresh Raycom shirt. The only other thing I took from this game was that Hawaii's starting quarterback could not throw the ball over 35 yards.

Georgia 45, Georgia Southern 21
Whatever.

Louisiana Tech 26, Mississippi State 14
State runs 40 passing plays and 31 running plays. What the hell is Sly Croom doing? Has he already forgotten why he won any games last year? I have no statistical evidence to back this up, but I'm willing to bet that when Wesley Carroll throws more than 20 passes, State's chances of losing increase by 75%. Or better yet, when Carroll's passing attempts are greater than Anthony Dixon's rushing attempts. I'll just put this coaching performance in my case file for why Croom is not a good coach.

Auburn 34, LA-Monroe 0
Compelling and rich.

Arkansas 28, Western Illinois 24
Two, yes two, fourth quarter touchdowns were needed to rally to beat the......the......(looking it up now)....Leathernecks. Fantastic name.

Ole Miss 41, Memphis 24
A consistent offense? Forty one points? Four hundred plus yards of total offense? To quote Seinfeld, "What year is this? How long have I been asleep?" I watched the replay yesterday and couldn't believe what I was seeing: a real football team. Haven't seen one of those take the field in four years. Granted, the defense looks shaky to quite shaky, but I'll ignore that for now and enjoy this rare feeling of hope surrounding this team. At least until Wake Forest smacks us back to reality on Saturday.

Alabama 34, Clemson 10
Can we finally stop all this "Clemson is going to break out this season" business? They're overrated and always will be overrated. Oh, and Tommy Bowden is NOT a good coach. How many times has his dad lost to him so he could keep his job? What makes me sick about Clemson is that they'll probably win 9, maybe even 10 games this year. Look at their schedule. Who's going to beat them? Wake Forest, Florida State, and South Carolina are the only likely suspects.

As for Alabama, their defense was much better than I thought it would be, especially up front. They just killed Clemson there. On offense, they committed to the run and used it to set up John Parker Wilson for some easy throws. They didn't let him throw downfield where he tends to do bad things, like cost his team the game.

Kentucky 27, Louisville 2
I wish I could remember how many horse racing references the ESPN announcers made.

UCLA 27, Tennessee 24
Jonathan Crompton: 19 of 42 for 189 yards and one interception. UCLA's quarterback throws four picks and still wins. If Crompton plays just mediocre, Tennessee wins. And by winning, I mean the game never comes down to a field goal.