Friday, July 31, 2009

Checking for an End of the Week Pulse

Now that it's been a week since I last posted here, and even though I have no original ideas or anything remotely interesting has happened in that time, I suppose I should put something up for the few of you that have grown furious over looking at that same black and white picture that's been up for a week. So, I will revive the old gimmick post I once did every Wednesday where I take a screen shot of's top stories and basically point out what crappy stories make the top stories list in a world without football. And at the end, I determine if there is any sort of pulse in the world of sports.

Report: Manny, Ortiz on '03 list.
Well, well, well. A tip of the hat to you, Jose Canseco. After everyone wrote you off as a money-seeking whore, it turns out that you were right. I just hope this makes my Jose Canseco Donruss 40/40 Club baseball card that's in a box somewhere at my parent's house go up in value.

And it will also be thoroughly enjoyable to watch Red Sox fans realize that their franchise and its players do not, in fact, poop rainbows and are just like every other team in every sport.

Source: Odom, Lakers agree.
Apparently, there was a problem with Odom's request to be paid in Gummy Bears. Finding 12 metric tons of those is harder than you think.

BoSox working on deal with Indians for Martinez.
Once they find a reputable HGH dealer in Boston, which should be pretty easy, this one is done.

Arroyo not surprised in list of 104 includes him.
That makes three! Only 22 away from our first all-steroids team.

Washington at Jets camp.
A big, fat screw you from me to Leon Washington for cheating me out of some valuable fantasy football points last season. Thomas Jones does all the dirty work and then you steal all the glory in the redzone. I hate you.

At worlds, rival mocks Phelps on swimsuit issue.
Is this the Olympics? No? Okay then, no one cares. It's swimming.

Dodgers land Sherrill from Orioles.
Just over a month until football gets started again. But good luck to the Dodgers with Sherrill now on the team.

Raiders, No. 1 pick reach deal.
Congratulations, Darrius Heyward-Bay. You're career is over before it starts. Partially because you now play for the Raiders, but your quarterback will come from this group: Jeff Garcia, Bruce Gradkowski, JaMarcus Russell, Danny Southwick (that has to be a made-up name), Marques Tuiasosopo, Kenny Stabler (okay, I made that one up) and Andrew Walter.

In progress: Tiger makes furious surge at Buick.
Can a golfer really have a furious surge on a Friday? To me, a furious surge should be reserved for a Saturday, possibly a Sunday. I can see the headline "Furious surge by Tiger to get into contention for Sunday." Or, "Furious surge by Tiger falls short in final round of Buick." Today should get the "Tiger making noise on day two of Buick" treatment.

MLB Rumors: Up to the second trade chatter.
Shell out $3.33 a month to get the latest on trades that won't happen or that we get horribly wrong!

PULSE: Thanks to a recent injection of cow muscle builder, we're stronger than ever!

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