Now that the non-informative circus that is SEC media days has come to a close, I feel like some sort of recap of the three days is necessary. And necessary in pictorial form.
Tuesday, July 21
The media arrives. Wait, I'm sorry, wrong picture.
There. Much better.
Before any work can begin, they need a run through the free buffet. Pictured here is trip number four through the line.
Wednesday, July 22
Dan Mullen, Rich Brooks, Bobby Johnson and Bobby Petrino really entertained the media. Actually, Mullen and Brooks were engaging and at times, especially Brooks, pretty funny. However, the photographer fell asleep during the Bobby Johnson session and was still sleeping when they took the stage.
Thursday, July 23
Nick Saban's arrival was much more unassuming than the last two years'.
Mark Richt was so compelling that even bums outside the Winfrey Hotel couldn't stay awake to ask for change. Not to worry, Hoover residents. After this man was reported to Hoover police, 27 officers responded with weapons drawn and this menace to society is now safely locked away.
Houston Nutt was in fine revival form, preaching the gospel of Ole Miss to all the unbelievers. He manged to get one convert, as a lone media member voted Ole Miss to be SEC champion.
Urban Meyer tried to explain to all the media just how complicated his revolutionary idea of wanting the fastest team in America is. They were awed and can't wait to tell the rest of us about it throughout the entire college football season.
The media's SEC football Jesus, Tim Tebow, made an appearance. He answered questions, fed everyone again with just a few fish and loaves of bread and renewed man-crushes across the country.
Friday, July 24
Although strangely in cartoon form, Auburn fans marched on the Winfrey Hotel when they heard that seriously, Gene Chizik really is their head coach. Luckily for everyone there, Hoover police broke up this demonstration with their newly acquired M1 Abrams main battle tank, which was flanked by dozens of officers on Segways.
No, Danny Wuerffel did not show up. However, when Steve Spurrier got his first question on Stephen Garcia, he sighed, then momentarily drifted away to a special time when he had a competent quarterback.
Les Miles still doesn't have an LSU hat that sits lower on his head.
Lane Kiffin told the media that Tennessee still had a lot of work to do before the season starts, but that Vol fans shouldn't be worried because this man will have an instrumental role in getting the team ready for the fall.
Finally, after nothing was really said for three days, it was time to get the hell out of there.
The media claws its way out of Hoover.
And the coaches make their way back home.
Until next year.