The Best, Worst and In Between of the Week

That’s right, yet another gimmick coming your way. I know I didn’t bring another “Looking for a Midweek Pulse,” but that was the result of having too much going on. When faced with any sort of adversity or mildly hectic days, I fold like a wet sack because I’m lazy and not exactly highly motivated. You should know this by now. Anyway, in an effort to crank out 3 posts a week (I know, it’s a high bar I set for myself), I’m trying to add something at the end of the week. We’ll see how this goes and if it works, it will be around for a few weeks until I come up with some excuse as to why I didn’t do it. And if someone out there has done this before, I apologize for not being more well-read or watching enough TV.

THE BEST
Ole Miss defensive end Greg Hardy wants the entire defensive line to get “Landshark” tattoos. A more fantastic idea I cannot recall. And to sweeten the deal, Hardy, allegedly skilled in art and graphic design, said he will design the tattoos. With the mind of Greg Hardy spinning away, there is literally no ceiling to the awesomeness/unintentional comedy of the design. I picture a group of hater fire-breathing dragons attacking a country farmhouse with a giant Landshark swooping in poised to eat them all. And the Landshark has the Prince-like hair Hardy was rocking earlier last year. Sign me up.

Dan Mullen is bringing a new attitude, new direction and hot pants to Mississippi State football.

Stolen from the Washington Redskin’s Chris Cooley, who declared that every Wednesday practice was “Hot Pants Wednesday,” State players now wear the pants worn by dance teams across the country. No word on the song selection for their highly anticipated dance at the end of spring practice.

Jim Calhoun and UConn will soon feel the not-so-swift and not-so-severe hammer of the NCAA’s discipline. Why are these allegations of major violations for UConn listed as part of the best news of the week? A couple of reasons. One, I always thought there was something odd on how Calhoun could convince mainly black athletes to come to Storrs, Connecticut, a town that’s 81% white and just under 6% black, to play basketball. I’m sure a free ride and the idea of being a part of major college basketball are pretty strong pulls, but if I’m going to freeze my ass off for however long I’d stay before jumping to the NBA, I need a little more than that.

And two, we all know Calhoun can be a little cranky, as his postgame press conference a few weeks ago showed when he blew up at an antagonizing reporter. Throw in this career-ending story and the pressure of getting ready for a Sweet 16 game, and a perfect storm is brewing. And the longer UConn stays in the Tournament, the larger the storm will get. Eventually, it will explode and television history will be made as Calhoun tries to take on a room filled with reporters. We might see TV’s first dive off a stage at a reporter from a basketball coach. I’m excited.

THE WORST
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell hates fantasy football. Goodell believes the NFL should expand its regular season from 16 games to 17 or 18, which would generate more money for the league (I don’t care about this), but would lead to more injuries (this is what I care about) and create playoff teams that would have to play playoff games with a large number of backups starting. And who doesn’t want to watch a second string offensive line try to block its way to the Super Bowl without getting its quarterback killed?

But I’m most concerned about the late season injuries as fantasy football winds down. Listen to me, Roger, I DON’T WANT TO SPEND WEEK ONE OF MY FANTASY FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS WITH PEYTON HILLIS AND COURTNEY TAYLOR IN MY STARTING LINEUP. HOW DARE YOU NOT CONSIDER A FREE GAME THAT MAKES MILLIONS OFF YOUR LEAGUE WITHOUT YOU SEEING ANY OF THAT MONEY. STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY FREE ENTERTAINMENT.

Tim Tebow becomes a god walking among mere mortals. I know this is over a week old, but the story of Tebow’s speech after losing to Ole Miss 31-30 being engraved and put outside Florida’s football facility kept popping up this week. Urban Meyer, who would do something like this, had the speech placed there so that all of Gator Nation could feel inspired or something. Or they could remember the sensations of nausea and suicidal thoughts when they remember losing to Ole Miss.

Of course this is completely absurd behavior. Tebow isn’t even finished with school yet. But Urban Meyer, the master motivator and coach of a team that lost 31-30 at home to a team that won ZERO SEC games the year before, wanted it done now. After all, this is the man who is credited by the media with having the revolutionary idea of wanting the fastest team in America. So we probably shouldn’t question anything he does. Someone this smart and innovative couldn’t be wrong.

THE IN BETWEEN
The return of Michael Herrick to Oxford is official. Herrick, and his sized 14 feet that were the hot topic of many a thread on the Ole Miss Spirit message board, will return with his new team, Northern Arizona, for a revenge game against Ole Miss in November. Listed at six-foot one, which means he’s shot up to 5’11” in reality, Herrick is still far short of the 6’5” many Spirit posters assumed he’d reach in college. Who knows if he’ll actually play, but take a minute to let the reality of Ole Miss playing Northern Arizona on the tail end of 11 straight weeks of football sink in. The Pete Boone era, everyone!