Weekend Picks

Made while watching the Jets/Patriots game, but flipping over to the Miami/Virginia Tech game during a break and heard Jesse Palmer refer to a player as a "little warrior." This immediately made me think of David Cutcliffe and his nickname for L.J. Taylor, which, of course, was "Little Warrior." Then I had a few minutes where I remembered how much I don't like David Cutcliffe because he played crappy players like L.J. Taylor merely because they were upperclassmen....

Last week: 4-2
Season: 52-13

Georgia at Auburn
At first, this game was not a priority to watch for me because of two things: One, it's the JP/LF/Raycom game. I'm not against watching JP games, but I don't know anyone who wakes up Saturday and can't wait for Dave, Dave and Dave to come on the air (unless it's your team playing). Looking forward to a Dave Cubed game where your team is not involved is like looking forward to a doctor putting on a rubber glove and telling you to bend over and cough. Like a prostate exam, this game is healthy for your college football knowledge, but you don't want it.

And two, watching Georgia hang 35+ on another below average team has zero appeal to me. However, tonight before the Thursday night game Reece Davis mentioned that Auburn players were still upset over the way Georgia's players danced the entire game last year to that Soulja Boy song. Now there's some intrigue. So Auburn is ticked off because of dancing and not that they were destroyed 45-20. That makes sense. I don't know how Auburn plans on getting their revenge because it won't be winning the game, but I hope it involves some dance fighting. Maybe even some breakdance fighting. That would be pretty awesome.

Oh, I forgot, this game is still not a priority to watch.

Former Directional School at Ole Miss
Barring any nuclear bomb-like implosion, Ole Miss will be headed to its first bowl since the Cotton Bowl in the 2003/2004 season. It would be a perfect ending to the season to beat LSU and State to most likely go back to the Cotton Bowl, but it doesn't really matter to me. I'd be thrilled to go back to Shreveport. The only drawback to going to the Cotton or Independence is that we'd most likely play a Big 12 team that throws about 60 times a game (right now it looks like it would be Oklahoma or Missouri, respectively) and we would be obliterated. But that's why they sell beer at bowl games. Am I right? Am I right? Hey-oh!!!

South Carolina at Florida
Spurrier's last trip to The Swamp saw his team bumble its way to a 17-16 loss, which ended on a blocked field goal in the final seconds. But what we learned from that game is that Spurrier is a better coach than Urban Meyer (even though Meyer revolutionized the college game with his desire to have the fastest team in America). I know Florida destroyed South Carolina last year (51-31), but I attribute that to Tim Tebow's insane overall performance last season and a heavily injured South Carolina defense. Well, those reasons and Blake Mitchell.

While Tebow is starting to play like he was last year (I'm not saying he stinks this year because he's playing really well, it's just that he's more human this year), the South Carolina defense is playing about eleventy million times better than it was last year, mainly because they've avoided the injuries they had last season. I don't think we're going to see Florida continuing their impression of Denzel Washington in Man on Fire after he declares he's going to kill anyone who had anything to do with the girl's kidnapping, but I do see them winning a close game.

I don't think the two-headed monster of Garcia and Smelley can score enough points to win the game. They're too mistake-prone and even when the South Carolina offense is clicking, or at least not screwing up, they aren't exactly lighting up the scoreboard. Their highest point total of the season has been 34, which they hit against NC State and Arkansas. Expect to see plenty of sarcastic smirks and headset rip-offs from Spurrier when GarciMelley fails to convert on another third down.

Mississippi State at Alabama
Sylvester Croom owes a chunk of his coaching success, albeit limited, to John Parker Wilson. It was Wilson who melted down in the past two meetings between these schools and gave State a pair of games even Sylvester Croom couldn't screw up. It's been so bad that Alabama last scored a touchdown against State in 2004, but amazingly Alabama is only 1-2 during that time. Credit the Sly Croom offense for that one win.

I expect to see another ugly, gross game in which John Parker Wilson stinks it up, but the Alabama defense gives the offense plenty of short fields to work with, so all that really has to be done is run the ball to get into field goal range. However, I think Alabama finally ends their touchdown problem against State and wins a game that, if not for the time of day, you would assume was a JP game.

Vanderbilt at Kentucky
That massive gagging sound coming out of Nashville is not the city still dry heaving after last night's "Country Music" Awards, but the Vanderbilt team choking away a 5-0 start. Seriously, this collapse has to be one of the all-time greats. The Dores are one game away from being bowl eligible with seven to play and they aren't going to make a bowl. If this were anyone but Vanderbilt, the national media would be going crazy over this story. The sports world is still getting stories out of the Yankees collapse in 2004 against the Red Sox, so can you imagine what would have happened if the Yankees lost a 5-0 lead in an 11 game series? Buster Olney and all the other Baseball Tonight dorks' heads would have exploded.

All Vanderbilt has had to do since their October 4th win over Auburn was win one freaking game. Sure they weren't going to beat Florida or Georgia, but Mississippi State and Duke? Embarrassing. Kentucky sends Vanderbilt away praying they can find a way to beat Tennessee, and showing that Bobby Johnson isn't the "good" coach that everyone claims he is. This would be two years in-a-row his team has choked away a chance at a bowl game and I'm willing to bet he catches no flak for it. He had his shot against State and Duke (and will against Tennessee) and watched as his team dropped stinkbombs against teams not any better than they were. If he's going to be praised for some of his wins, he needs to be criticized for games he lost that he probably shouldn't have.

Troy at LSU
I just want Jordan Jefferson to stink so Jarrett Lee has to play next week against Ole Miss.