From the Weekend That Was

Ole Miss 31, Florida 30









Auburn 14, Tennessee 12
Yes, it was as glamorous as that score indicates. Watching this game gave me a slight sense of what it must feel like to slowly slip into a diabetic coma. The starting quarterbacks for the game:
Chris Todd: 14/23, 93 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Jonathan Crompton: 8/23, 67 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT

Luckily for sports fans, this game was virtually repeated 24 hours later when the Bengals and Browns locked horns. Final score there: Browns 20, Bengals 12.
Derek Anderson: 15/24, 138 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT
Ryan Fitzpatrick: 21/35, 156 yards, 1 TD, 3 INTs

Texas 52, Arkansas 10
This game was pretty much a flashback to the year the Razorbacks went to Los Angeles to play USC. The clock started and then it was 31-3. Only this time, Arkansas managed to hold the Longhorns to 52 instead of 70.

The good news for Arkansas is Casey Dick threw no interceptions. Although from the looks of things, he didn't do anything positive either. The bad news: a most irritated Florida team comes to Fayetteville next.

Kentucky 41, Directional School 3
I'm sure Kentucky fans got their share of Back in Black. If you've been to Commonwealth Stadium, you know what I'm talking about.

South Carolina 26, UAB 13
Let's take time out to pour one out for the end of the Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher eras. It remains to be seen if Stephen Garcia can go more than four days without doing something to embarrass himself, his parents, and his school. Something inside me says that Garcia will eventually be arrested for mayhem.

LSU 34, Mississippi State 24
And now let's take another moment to pour one out for the end of the Wesley Carroll era. In related story, stocks in interceptions and incompletions hit record lows.

Alabama 41, Georgia 30
Not much to say here other than this was one of the more dominating wins I've ever seen between two alleged good teams in the SEC. As long as Alabama can effectively run the ball and keep John Parker Wilson from having to win the game, they'll keep on trucking. I think there will come a time later in the season when he'll have to make plays to win a game, but right now he's doing a great job of not screwing up the limited responsibility he's been given (Note: That's not a knock on him. He's doing exactly what he should be doing. Smart decisions and no killer mistakes.).

Also, no word if Georgia's next home game will involve a "Pink Out."

Weekend Picks

Last week: 5-2
Season: 21-2

Tennessee at Auburn
Is it just me or is this sort of a blah game? Tennessee stinks and Auburn isn't a fun team to watch. The people at CBS have to be kicking themselves for not picking Alabama/Georgia before the season started. In an extremely boring game featuring two bad offenses and one good defense, Auburn wins.

Arkansas at Texas
Let's hope Casey Dick throws to his team more than the other team. Do you think in last week's game against Alabama as he watched Casey Dick throw the ball all over the place, Bobby Petrino had flashbacks to standing on the Falcons' sideline watching Joey Harrington throw incompletions and interceptions?

Directional School at Kentucky
It's almost October and Kentucky has not played a conference game.

UAB at South Carolina
Wofford and UAB back-to-back and I doubt South Carolina gets any better. Can Steve Spurrier have one good quarterback at Carolina before he retires? Just one. We all need this.

Mississippi State at LSU
Paging Tyson Lee, paging Tyson Lee. If he doesn't play in this game, I think it's safe to assume he killed a guy with a trident. LSU wins, covers, and hits the over.

Alabama at Georgia
For Alabama to win, John Parker Wilson will have to finally make some plays, or more commonly known as throwing the ball to his team and not the ground or Georgia. I don't think Alabama will be able to run the ball with very much success, so the burden of the offense will fall on Wilson. If you're an Alabama fan, that can't be very comforting.

As a whole, I think Alabama is a little overrated. They're getting way too much credit for beating an average Clemson team. I don't think Georgia blows them out, but they'll win by double digits.

Ole Miss at Florida
If this is another close game and we lose, I'm not sure I can keep going. Take a look at this:

In the last five years, the Rebels have lost sixteen games by seven points or less. Sixteen!!! Really, I don't need this.

My prediction: Rob Park does something to lose the game (other than not being able to punt the ball over forty yards). Probably something along the lines of dropping a snap in the endzone and fumbling as he tries to pick up the ball and run. Florida will recover for a touchdown and we'll lose by two.

From the Weekend That Was

Alabama 49, Arkansas 14
As expected, Alabama ran, ran, and then ran some more. Glen Coffee spent most of the game looking like Sherman ripping his way through Georgia. Only, unlike Sherman, Coffee went across the state, turned around, crossed again, and finally plowed his way through a third time. And it should also be pointed out that Coffee is not an all-world running back, but merely a serviceable back. It's going to be a brutally long year on defense for Arkansas. Well, let's be honest, it's going to be a long year for everyone in Arkansas.

LSU 26, Auburn 21
Easily the most exciting and enjoyable game of the weekend. I believe LSU found that Harvard transfer Andrew Hatch is no longer an option at quarterback. Even if he ever remembers his first name again after having his brain bounce off the top of his skull in the third quarter, Hatch wasn't showing anything special. Granted, he didn't do anything dumb like throw the biggest nancy boy pass in the world to an Auburn defensive lineman, but LSU's offense wasn't getting out of first gear with him in there.

I thought if Auburn had been able to run at all, they could have come away with the win. Instead, they were forced into the Chris Todd Show, which, while better than expected, is not a pleasant way to spend a Saturday if you're an Auburn fan.

One final thought, it's almost like Les Miles is taunting the sports gods with his completely reckless decision-making. Abandoning the running game for a chunk of the game so his redshirt freshman quarterback can throw it around some. Throwing the ball deep in Auburn territory when a field goal wins the game (like last year). As a fan of a school permanently abused by the sports gods, it's only a matter of time before the bell tolls for Les Miles.

Florida 30, Tennessee 6
Speaking of the bell tolling, it tolls for thee Phil Fulmer, it tolls for thee.

Georgia 27, Arizona State 10
Arizona State is now 3-26 against top 25 teams since 2000. 3-26. Yet another team that gets way too much publicity for beating no one.

Vanderbilt 23, Ole Miss 17
In the last two losses, Ole Miss has managed to lose on a last-second field goal and a fumble on the two yard line. This was a game that Ole Miss wins by three touchdowns if they don't commit six turnovers (could have been seven if not for Burnell Wallace stealing one from the Vandy DB). Instead, Vandy gimps its way to 200 yards of total offense (outgained by nearly 2 to 1) and takes the game.

Kudos to the Ole Miss defense for playing their best game of the season. Unfortunately, it was wasted by Jevan Snead, who decided to don the #19 jersey and play Seth Adams for four quarters. In his last eight quarters, Snead has thrown six interceptions. He's making a run at Seth Adams unprecedented performance of twelve interceptions in twelve quarters. Not good times.

Just when I thought we had left the days of bad to shaky quarterback play, we're right back in them. I know Snead has much more talent than his predecessors, but there's no way I can trust him the rest of the year. Just know that when he's sailing along in a game later this season, he still has the four interception game in his back pocket.

One more thing, I know my prediction of a blowout win blew up in my face, but I'll take another shot at one: Vandy will not make a bowl this year. A team that limited on offense can't keep this up. Living off turnovers and other teams saving their worst game of the year for Vandy don't get you to a bowl ga.....wait a minute. Vandy is this year's 2007 Mississippi State. Horrible offense, opportunistic defense, every stroke of good luck imaginable. I can't think of a good name for this syndrome right now, but something will come to me.

Georgia Tech 38, State 7
You're staying with Wesley Carroll, Coach Croom? Really? I know absolutely nothing about Tyson Lee, but surely he's at least a 1% improvement over Carroll. Unless Tyson Lee spends his weekdays going to nursing homes and pushing old people down, he has to be the starter or get the majority of the playing time against LSU. No excuse why he shouldn't.

South Carolina 23, Wofford 13
Okay, so maybe Spurrier did throw up on the sideline.

And the Congregation Said, "Amen."

Johnny Brown finally sends Kendrick Lewis to the bench. Lewis isn't as bad as I make him out to be, but he's definitely the four volt Rascal to Brown's George Costanza Rascal.

*EDIT*
In between bumbling his way through a 30 hour work week and thinking of ways to run off Andy Kennedy, Ole Miss athletic director Pete Boone found time to finish writing a book. No, I'm not kidding. Amazingly, The Perfect Plan is not a guide on how to hire an inexperienced defensive line coach as your university's head coach, watch him win ten games in three years, and manage to keep your job.

Weekend Picks

Last Week: 8-0
Season: 16-0

Alabama at Arkansas
The last time he played in Fayetteville, John Parker Wilson had one of the best road games of his career (240 yards, 3TDs, 0 INTs). Unfortunately, the last Alabama kicker to play in Fayetteville missed three field goals (one in overtime) and an extra point (in overtime to lose the game). Of course, that was during the Mike Shula era, where such on-the-field action was not judged. If that happened in the Nick Saban era, the "f------ back-up kicker guy" would have been in after two misses or Saban would have elected to go for it on every fourth down.

As for this year's game, it will be interesting to see if Rush Probst talked to John Parker Wilson (do we have to call him John Parker all the time? Can we shorten that to JP or perhaps just John?) to help cure his recent troubles on the road (there were no actual plans for this to happen, just my theory being put out there). Barring any turnovers, I'm sure we'll see a steady diet of rushes from Alabama with the gameplan basically being don't do anything stupid and let's wait for Arkansas to play like Arkansas. After one SEC win, Alabama fans logically begin booking reservations in Atlanta.

LSU at Auburn
If you're an Auburn fan, you've got to hope your offense remembers last year's plays. While this year's offense is just awful, the good news for Auburn is that this is Andrew Hatch's, a Harvard transfer mind you, first real game. No idea how he'll react to facing a defense exponentially greater than any he's faced and doing so on the road. For that reason and the home team has won the last eight games in this series, I'm taking Auburn. And it's entirely possible Auburn could follow up a 3-2 win with a 6-3 or 7-6 win.

Florida at Tennessee
If Tennessee fails to remember that Jonathan Crompton stinks, we could see another 59-20-esque beatdown. There's no reason in the world he should throw more than 20 to 25 passes. None. Last time that happened (not counting UAB) they lost to a team that just got beat 59-0 by BYU.

How is it possible that Florida still hasn't developed a running back? Surely in the however many top classes Urban Meyer has hauled in, one would figure out how to play. Maybe it's the gimmicky offense, but they desperately need to find one. I like Florida in a relatively low-scoring game.

Georgia at Arizona State
I don't think this will be a blow-out, but I see Georgia winning easily. Lest you forget, Arizona State just lost to UNLV at home. My only question for this game is will Rudy Carpenter cry when he gets sacked for the fifth time.

Vanderbilt at Ole Miss
Huge game for both teams. If Vandy wins, they'll be in first place and 2-0 in the SEC East for the first time.......ever? For Ole Miss, this is a game they must win if they want to spend late December in Shreveport, Memphis, or Nashville (and who doesn't want to see Bossier City at that time of year?).

Bold prediction for the week: Not only does Ole Miss win, but they do so with ease. I don't think Vandy is very good, not that Ole Miss is early 90s Cowboys, but other than taking advantage of the next Chris Smelley interception, Vandy didn't really impress me. If you feature a white running back in the SEC, things can't keep going well. Throw in a relatively healthy Ole Miss defensive line (even without Hardy), Bobby Johnson's track record on the road, and a real Ole Miss offense, it has all the makings of a perfect storm cakewalk.

State at Georgia Tech
Answer me this: What were was exptected out of this year's offense when last year's offense ranked 11th in scoring, 12th in passing, 10th in rushing, and 12th in total offense in the conference? Not to mention the loss of two offensive linemen and the top wide receivers. Is anyone actually surprised State's offense is still horrible? And, how does a coordinator who directed last year's offense get a $75k raise? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

State's defense keeps it respectable, but Georgia Tech wins.

Wofford at South Carolina
First time in two weeks Spurrier may not throw up on the sideline.