Made while watching Ricky the Alabama fan shatter the YouTube record for comedy. Even Kige Ramsey’s awkwardness and unintentional comedy can’t touch this.
Let’s see what we have here.
Anger Issues? Check.
Wearing large amounts of Alabama flair in home? Check.
Limited vocabulary? Check.
Belief that Alabama can do no wrong? Check.
Women cursing in the background? Check.
And I thought there would never be anyone that could top Cowboy.
Last week: 11-1
Season: 11-1 (.916)
Troy at Florida
I’m only vaguely interested in this game for reasons involving point spreads. There’s no doubt Florida will conduct a wholesale slaughter of the Trojans, but I want to see what Troy has on offense. If you recall the last few seasons, Troy has had some outstanding offenses and because of this, was a covering machine. In fact, I want to say two seasons ago they were something like 11-1 against the spread, which is cash money in your pocket (if gambling were a legitimate enterprise looked favorably upon by the NCAA). If the Trojans put up some points, I’d keep an eye out when they run into the Sun Belt teams.
UCLA at Tennessee
Question: How does one lose a game when the opposing quarterback throws four interceptions? Simple. You elect to throw 41 time with your below average quarterback and ignore your two running backs who would end the game AVERAGING 7.4 and 5.5 yards per carry. That’s what Phil Fulmer allowed offensive coordinator Dave Clawson to do in last year’s 27-24 overtime loss to UCLA. Now, both those guys are no longer employed by the University of Tennessee (although they are still receiving handsome paychecks from Tennessee).
As poorly as I think of Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron, I don’t think those mistakes will be made again. Last week against a hapless directional school, Jonathan Crompton, the player some Tennessee fans wanted to kill (literally), was only allowed to throw 28 times. If he’s allowed to top that (barring turnovers and Tennessee falls behind), Kiffin may find himself in the unemployment line much faster than I predicted. The Vols win an ugly, ugly game.
Florida International at Alabama
God help Ricky’s family if FIU jumps out to an early 3-0 lead. He’ll probably burn the house down with them inside. Then, after he steals a map from a local convenience store, he’ll find his way to Tuscaloosa and blow the brains out of the referee who missed a holding call on FIU’s scoring drive. Good times.
Vanderbilt at LSU
The revamped, no-huddle Vanderbilt offense exploded last week for over 600 yards of offense against what had to be an awful Western Carolina team. The revamped, well-coached LSU defense gave up 478 yards to a team that had one player (the quarterback) and won zero games last year. This could turn into an interesting game if Vanderbilt can keep from committing the soul-crushing turnovers they so often have against every team in the SEC but Ole Miss (in their last two wins over Ole Miss, Vandy is +4 in turnover ratio). I find it hard to believe Vandy could go to LSU and win, but I foresee things getting a little shaky for LSU before the Tigers go on to win.
South Carolina at Georgia
Steve Spurrier said earlier this week that he plans on being a little more aggressive on offense than he was against NC State. This, of course, means that Stephen Garcia will be given more opportunities to make bad decisions that might cost his team the game, which will in turn lead to him possibly doing something really dumb off the field. We all win in this scenario. Who isn’t ready to see him take his property crimes to the next level?
As for the actual game, I think Georgia could be in some serious trouble, not just this weekend, but for the rest of the season. Take a look at this. Even Mark Richt senses something is amiss. And Joe Cox, doesn’t care about his critics, but does care enough to address them and pull out the old “they’ve never played a down of football in their lives” argument, which always goes over well. A crappy performance this weekend and you’ll be able to feel the fan’s sense of impending doom in the stadium, even if Georgia wins.
I’d love to take South Carolina here, but then I remember their game last Thursday night. And I cannot in good conscience select Stephen Garcia to win on the road. Georgia wins and challenges Tennessee for the ugliest win of the weekend.
Mississippi State at Auburn
From the few moments of the Auburn game I saw last last weekend, they appear to have a much more competent offense than whatever it was they had last year. Of course, they were playing Louisiana Tech, which probably helped. The same goes for Mississippi State. A much better offensive showing, but it was Jackson State, who I’ve now had three separate people tell me was “the worst team I’ve ever seen.”
I think we’ll see yet another defensive orgy, which will take place not because of outstanding defensive play, but because mediocre offenses will run into stronger defenses. And because I think Auburn’s offense is a little stronger than State’s, which I think is pretty bad, Auburn should come out of this bloodbath of punts victorious.