From the Long Weekend That Was

South Carolina 7, NC State 3
Much like my suggested rule that Ohio State never be ranked again or receive media attention for slapping around the smaller schools of Ohio, my idea that South Carolina or NC State never be allowed to open the college football season again will most likely be ignored. Although it shouldn’t, since I’m right. South Carolina has given us such greats as this year’s win, last year’s 34-0 game which was equally as boring and who can forget the exciting 15-0 win over Mississippi State just three years ago. It’s time for this business to stop.

And, holy crap, NC State is just awful. If you’re scoring at home, which may be difficult for NC State fans since they have no examples provided by their football team, that’s three points in two years on season-opening Thursday night games.

Kentucky 42, Miami (OH) 0
Do you think that when Miami Hurricane fans are watching the bottom line scores come across on ESPN they are temporarily terrified of the result they see until the OH appears? I think I would.

Tennessee 63, Directional School 7
After the destruction of a Sun Belt school, Lane Kiffin still isn’t letting up. According to his Twitter account, today is COMPETITION TUESDAY!!! (Note: This is not to be confused with David Cutcliffe’s “Get Better Monday.” And I have a feeling that after his Blue Devils’ loss to I-AA Richmond, he’ll be ordering a “Code Blue” on Wednesday.) If you’re familiar with Ed Orgeron’s body of work, that statement reeks, I mean REEKS of Ed Orgeron. Let’s see how fresh the Vols are in week eight or nine when they’re still going 200 miles an hour three days a week. The more influence he has, the more enjoyable the Kiffin era’s fall will become.

Oklahoma State 24, Georgia 10
If Georgia has a quarterback and the officials elected to referee this game as a football game and not a touch football game, perhaps the Bulldogs would have been in a position to win. For those who may have missed it, Oklahoma State’s last touchdown came on a drive that was kept alive by an unnecessary roughness penalty on a Georgia defensive back after he destroyed a Cowboy wide receiver who was trying to catch a pass. When he was hit, the receiver still had a hand on the ball. Violent hit? Yes. A penalty? Only at the YMCA.

As the Sean McDonough, the announcer, said, “If you’re going to throw a flag for every hit that looks bad, you might as well play flag football.” Well said, sir. Of course, if Joe Cox weren’t absolutely horrible, it wouldn’t have mattered.

Mississippi State 45, Jackson State 7
According to a friend who was there, “Jackson State is the worst football team I’ve ever seen.” For the purpose of fantastic comedy, I would have loved to see how Sylvester Croom would have fared in this one. State still would have won, but it would have been along the lines of 24-7 and disgustingly ugly.

And my apologies to Dan Mullen (as if he cares) for besmirching him based on the idea that Anthony Dixon would play. I will also refrain from writing the backhanded compliment I had ready to go. But know that I did have one.

Arkansas 48, Missouri State 10
HOUSTON NUTT WOULD NEVER HAVE SCORED 48 ON MISSOURI STATE!!!

Auburn 37, Louisiana Tech 13
Chizik is now four wins away from double digits in career victories after 25 games as a head coach.

Florida 62, Charleston Southern 3
If you’re curious, the Charleston Southern nickname is the Buccaneers. So file that one away.

Vanderbilt 45, Western Carolina 0
Two of the country’s worst offenses last year, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt, combine to score 90 points. By comparison, it took Vandy two games last season to reach the 45-point mark, and through its first four games of 2008, Mississippi State had a total of 57 points scored.

Alabama 34, Virginia Tech 24
Hey, guess what? Tyrod Taylor is awful, just like every Virginia Tech quarterback since Michael Vick. Who saw that coming? The Hokies are another team that should never be ranked in the top ten before the season ever again. If Alabama had a stronger quarterback and decent special teams play, they win this game by at least 21. And when Virginia Tech is winning the Orange Bowl in January, just be sure to remember they stink.

As for the debut of Greg McElroy, color me unimpressed. Granted, he was going against a solid defense and was still able to help crank out almost 500 yards of total offense, but I never saw anything that made me think he’s going to be much better than he is right now. He’ll improve, but not by much. And I think we’ll also see Alabama be little more risky or aggressive on offense thanks to complete confidence in a really good defense. A defense like theirs will help control whatever mistakes are made on offense.

LSU 31, Washington 23
Speaking of unimpressed, here’s LSU. The defense that was supposed to be totally revamped now that all of that talent was being properly coached gave up 478 yards of offense to a team that was 0-12 last year. Jordan Jefferson? Blah. Maybe it was the trip to the West Coast, but LSU doesn’t look the part of a team that could make a run at Atlanta.

Ole Miss 45, Memphis 14
The day I am remotely upset with a 45-14 win, please shoot me in the face (and don’t miss). Yeah, it was a little frustrating watching Jevan Snead crap the bed for a little over three quarters, but I never got the sense we were in danger of losing the game. The defense picked up where it left off last year, really shutting down the Memphis offense. Other than the fourth quarter touchdown drive and the drive where Memphis missed a field goal, they really had no consistency. The defensive line got stronger as the game went on, especially Jerrell Powe, and the secondary has made a transformation to a group of guys I don’t even recognize. Shit talking, aggressive AND they put points on the board with Fon Ingram’s interception return for a touchdown. The last time we saw something like this was in the Billy Brewer era.

Other than Snead’s early struggles, it’s hard to really criticize much. The play calling was extremely basic so there’s not much to pick apart on offense. I thought the offense line played well at times, not so much at others, but for the first game, I’ll take it. Snead was not murdered by a vicious hit so that’s a victory in my book. I think we’ll see much more two weeks from now when they travel to Columbia.